When the New Kids On The Block decided to reunite as a promotional still for an some kind of ill-advised Ocean's 13 sequel,

I, like most of the public, made a tacit pact with them: no new material. We made our demands clear. You can have your little nostalgia parade, New Kids. Sing the old songs. Hang tough, if you must. Talk about how weird it was to have your own line of sheets. Slip into the old Z. Cavariccis if only to feel the billowing fabric around your thighs once more before middle age sets in. Inspire mom-lust (Clay Aiken can't do it all alone). But then, go away. Shut the door covered in posters torn from Bop! magazine once and for all. No one needs a new NKOTB single, even you. And the public desire for one is so nonexistent, it could create a negative space in the universe, a giant, endless, sucking void that says "See? This is how much we don't want your new music."

Unfortunately, however, the New Kids have decided to ignore our demands, and release this single about how it makes the camera in their mind all excited when you "put your face on," and or are "playin wit your make-up." Really? Yes. Really:



Nice try, New Kids (this isn't actually true, it's just a segue), but why would you even attempt a song with a "Click Click" chorus, when the definitive song with a "Click Click" chorus was released just last year? And in addition to being the definitive "Click Click" chorus song, that song also has bird noises. Do you think your echoing sighs are a match for bird noises? Of course they're not. Clearly, you have been out of it way too long.

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