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The Rock will not humor your critiques of Jumanji's internal logic

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Look, The Rock knows nonsense. The Rock worked for Vince McMahon. The Rock wrestled for the WWE. He knows how to sell feuds with no coherent buildup. He knows how to make an unearned face turn pop. His first gimmick was “wears crepe paper?” and he still spun it into stardom. So, now that he’s a bonafide Hollywood star, The Rock will not hesitate to tell you that, no, actually, this story does make sense.

Perhaps feeling emboldened by his name, Twitter user James McMahon (no relation to the WWE dynasty), took to Dwayne Johnson directly with a critique of the star’s Jumanji: Welcome To The Jungle. His beef? The game within the film’s inconsistencies when measured against the larger realm of game mechanics.


Seems like a valid complaint. Anyone who’s lost hours of their life to a lack of save points can tell you that games are rarely so kind. But that’s when the music hit, the Titan Tron lit up, and The Rock sauntered out with a microphone. “Finally!” he cried. “The Rock has come BACK to the internet!” He’s got an answer for McMahon, and, unlike his ass-based 1999 feud with Billy Gunn, it actually makes sense.

Fair enough, though one might question the veracity and/or existence of such a tome. Unlike the original McMahon, James was quick to get his candy ass in line.


Sure, it would’ve been better had he told McMahon to shove Twitter’s little blue birdie up his ass or something, but it’s still nice to see Johnson slip into heel mode, if only for a moment.


These days, he can never stay mad long.


That “lol” is very un-Rock-like.

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About the author

Randall Colburn

Randall Colburn is The A.V. Club's Internet Culture Editor. He lives in Chicago, occasionally writes plays, and was a talking head in Best Worst Movie, the documentary about Troll 2.