After a one-week hiatus (baseball, the eternal enemy of scripted and unscripted appointment television alike), The Traitors: New Blood returns with “Wake Of The Living Dead,” taking up a problem it previously left unresolved: Jay.
At the roundtable, Jay finally cashes the check he’s been writing for two episodes. Having “collected information” for four days, he launches his long-teased attack on Katie, complete with a mere sliver of his previously touted (and, after highlighting a random mannerism that occurred before she was even considered to be an accomplice, wholly irrelevant) body language expertise. The problem isn’t his aim—Katie is a Traitor—but rather his immediate floundering once pressed even mildly. Rather than move forward with the supposed evidence in his back pocket, he almost immediately pivots his nervous accusations toward Kriste, who swats them down with such practiced ease that it almost makes you forget that Jay was actually onto something real once upon a time. The table reads his jitters as another symptom of his much-maligned chaotic demeanor, and his erratic, cry-wolf approach is now actively biting him in the ass.
Jay’s not the only one in the hotseat. Abby L. takes the opportunity to bring her latest paper-thin theory to the table and call out Sherry, who had the unmitigated gall to once guess that there were three Traitors in Abby’s presence (mind you, three Traitors has often been the magic number throughout the franchise, so her guess was likely evidence of her being partially aware of that). She’s also being indicted for having nothing to say for two whole roundtables. Her shameful excuse? According to her, she didn’t speak because she didn’t have anything useful to say—an entirely admirable thing in the real world, but a death sentence in at least one very particular castle in the Scottish Highlands.
When directly asked if she suspects anyone, the murder-mystery writer naturally turns on Jay who, according to Sherry’s absolutely poetic observations, seems to “delight in creating a crockpot of confusion that we all simmer in.” That bar should have been met with applause, but unfortunately, Sherry’s choice to answer a question point-blank and perhaps a little melodramatically is read as an unwelcome switch-up, which keeps her firmly on the chopping block. The votes are largely split between Jay and Sherry (with one rogue vote landing on Michael, courtesy of Victor), but the castle ultimately opts to expel the once-mum Sherry for (*checks notes aggressively*) speaking when explicitly asked to speak. Damned if you do, banished if you don’t.
Sherry is barely out the door before Niyyah calls out Jay for voting out the recently banished instead of either of the women he accused. Her totally valid ire toward him is bolstered by his previous mission-day chaos, which essentially bought him a shield from the night’s murder while Niyyah sits on the short list with no such luxury. Though she correctly calls out the cowardly nature of his actions, it’s hard to fully enjoy this fitting moment of dressing-down as you watch Jay’s messy gameplay double as an accountability sponge. Yeah, he’s hell on wheels (and seems to be leaning into a very corny version of the reality competition heel, a bit that’s thoroughly undercut by his lack of confidence at the roundtable), but as long as Jay is the obvious problem in the room, nobody has to examine how a group running almost exclusively on weak conspiracy theories keeps getting this so wrong. Bring as many loosely held together accusations to the table as you can muster, it seems…just don’t be annoying about it. That’s hardly going to help them get to the root of their issues and it’s not nearly as satisfying to watch when half the fun is them thoughtfully connecting the dots.
After the roundtable, the tone momentarily intensifies as Katie, having barely evaded capture, begins to feel guilty about lying to a house full of new friends and, while confiding in fellow Traitor Joe, tearfully cracks. While there is no crying in the turret, the moment does capture how differently this game registers amongst everyday people (a handful of well-known social media creators aside). This go-round is more personal, more raw than the preceding celebrity seasons ever let it get. These are people genuinely rattled by what the game is asking them to do to each other, and there is something endearing about that, even if it’s a little naive.
But we don’t have much time to wallow in this brief moment of vulnerability, for the Traitors are charged with the daunting task of carrying out their next murder in plain sight, which will be followed by a revelatory wake. The remaining short list of potential victims includes Mark, Clyde, Niyyah, Kriste, Victor, Abby L., and Morgan, with Traitors Tomica and Joe serving as “doomed” decoys. To carry out the deed, a Traitor must oh-so-nonchalantly toss a “poisoned apple” to their victim, which the victim must successfully catch to complete the action.
This franchise has shown many a publicized murder with varying degrees of intrigue, but never one quite this silly. Joe decides to take the reins and go after Mark, your favorite Faithful’s favorite Faithful, for no other reason than “I know he’ll catch [the apple].” Joe ultimately chokes and, yearning for guidance from his turret team, publicly pulls Katie aside for a strategy huddle so transparent it may as well have a neon sign over it. For a moment, we’re reunited with the same Nervous Joe from the first episode who nearly chatterboxed his way to an early banishment. This Joe paces, glides in and out of rooms with obvious purpose, and is vaguely shifty while firmly gripping the apple all the while. At Katie’s suggestion, he pivots to Morgan and attempts to launch the apple in her direction without warning or preamble. Unsurprisingly, she fumbles the catch, as would anyone not prepared for flying fruit. Then, out of sheer panic, Joe proceeds to EAT THE MURDER WEAPON.
Dear reader, I have watched a lot of people die in this castle. I have never watched a Traitor attempt to destroy the evidence by ingesting it. The Traitors’ collective lack of suaveness is anxiety-inducing to watch, but it also confirms that everyone, Traitors and Faithfuls alike, are on far more equal footing than we originally realized. We’re not dealing with a slick, cloaked killer running laps around his unknowing prey or a too-dialed-in Faithful hogging all the competence. Everyone is very clearly figuring out this Traitors thing in real time. While the messiness can be occasionally frustrating, at least it feels like an actual game with a fairly unpredictable outcome.
By now, the stench of a murder in plain sight begins to waft through the castle, and Abby L. and Victor are catching a major whiff. They both express their paranoia as they sit like waiting ducks, with Victor’s nerves rendering him especially astute: Not only does he clock Joe’s unwillingness to part with his fruit, he notices Tomica, freshly horrified after watching her partner in crime flail, randomly offering apples to folks in the kitchen. Much like Jay, Victor bears the unfortunate curse of being a polarizing figure with both decent perception and a credibility problem.
With only 15 minutes left in the episode, we arrive at the dreaded wake. Alan leads the players, all wearing their funeral best, in a march to a graveyard rife with personalized gravestones and caskets for the shortlisted players. The mood is solemn and genuinely emotional with various safe players semi-eulogizing those awaiting their fate. Michael, who previously connected with Joe after the second roundtable, voices his appreciation for both him and Kriste while holding back tears, and the moment is another lovely reminder that these people, regardless of their inherent suspicions of each other, have a personal connection via a rather unique experience. It’s that blessed moment that occurs in reality television where a show briefly stops feeling overly produced and actually feels, well, real.
But as the scene soldiers on and Alan begins to dramatically announce the night’s survivors, it becomes clear that we’re not going to find out whose coffin gets the final nail in this episode. One by one, Alan confirms that Tomica, Kriste, Abby L., Morgan, and Victor are all still breathing, which leaves the fallen among Niyyah, Clyde, Mark, or, ostensibly, Joe himself. And then—credits. We will have to wait a full week to learn who actually ate it (or, more accurately, who got the apple Joe didn’t eat), because New Blood has now traded its double-feature generosity for a standard weekly schedule.
As cliffhangers go, it’s a more defensible one than Jay’s body-language dud from episode three—there’s a real murder on the line here, not a man announcing he’s too tired to play. But it also points to a potential structural issue with the network TV-ready format. Streaming’s more generous runway allows for a taste of everything that makes The Traitors must-watch television. So far, New Blood is forced to choose what we get to see each week, and the missing pieces are definitely felt. Stripped of a mission beyond the fumbling apple toss, with no turret scene and barely a roundtable, “Wake Of The Living Dead” runs lean to the point of gauntness. The slimmer format seemed promising in the beginning when it appeared to cut filler. Here, it’s cut so close to the bone that a single sloppy murder and an extended funeral have to carry the whole 42-minute block. It’s still entertaining, but on a less grand scale. The charm of watching amateurs flail is real, but charm doesn’t innately solve pacing, and this week the cracks began to show.
Stray observations
- • No Castle Twin sighting this week and no new entries to the Ominous Pop Playlist. The latter feels way more offensive than the former at this point.
- • Joe talking Katie down after she starts to lose her nerve was such a paradoxically sweet moment—a kind, if clumsy, killer empowering a fellow bumbling killer to kill once more.
- • Victor is arguably the player with the most live ammo in the castle after peeping Joe and Tomica’s post-roundtable behavior. It’ll be interesting to see if he acts on it or decides to continue laying low.
- • The lack of a breakfast scene or mission also robs us of a dramatic Alan Cumming Fashion Reveal, so now I feel especially slighted.
- • It would be nice to see more gameplay and strategy from Abbey B. and ironworker Shane Beatty. There was a brief moment in episode four where we see Shane bring up Katie’s name to Sherry and some scattered conversations involving Abbey, but that’s about it. We’re five episodes in and we really don’t have a sense who either of them is as a player.
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