Dr. Martens, the shoes worn by only the grungiest grunge kids at your suburban high school in 1996, has a new ad campaign out, and not only does it sell shoes in the most tasteful way possible, it also manages to answer some of mankind's biggest theological questions like, "What is heaven like? Do you need sturdy footwear there? Does God ever forgive people who probably stabbed their girlfriends? and What happens after you die?"

According to this ad, heaven is a place filled with white-robed angels walking on fluffy white clouds bathed in beautiful light, but heavy boots are required for the terrain. And since Sid Vicious is there, evidently God doesn't see alleged manslaughter as a dealbreaker. And so what happens after you die? Well, this ad clearly shows that if you were an influential musician, after you die you are forced to sell Doc Martens in heaven for all eternity–a fate that, come to think of it, sounds an awful lot like hell. (More ads

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