This Week In Terrifying Hybrids

1. Bridget Jones'Diary + Dead boyfriend + Karaoke + "Breathe" = P.S. I Love You


Wouldn't it be great if your dead Irish boyfriend helped you to get over his probably tragic early demise by sending you letters from beyond the grave with touching, meaningful advice like, "Go on disco diva! Sing Karaoke this month!"? OMG it sooo would, right ladies?

Actually, if your dead boyfriend was essentially stalking you via minicassette recorder, letters, and singing telegram, it would be pretty creepy, not to mention completely irritating. Like most romantic comedies, this movie is just a change in soundtrack away from being a horror film. It should be called P.S. I'm Dead.

Also, is that Nellie McKay right before the slapstickiest karaoke scene of all time? What the hell?

2. Talladega Nights - NASCAR + all the hilarity that was the 1970s + zany costumes + basketball = Semi-Pro

So, do you think they even had to pay for the bear, or was the handler just like, "It's on me. I can see you're desperate for laffs."

Apparently all you have to do is say Will Ferrell and name a sport in the same sentence and it's a movie. I can't wait for Will Ferrell to squeeze into a glittery one piece for All Wet (synchronized swimming), or to see him repeatedly take off his jersey (nothing is funnier!) for Crossin' Sticks (lacrosse).

Still, I'm surprised they resisted the impulse to title this movie, simply, Balls!.

3. Puns + the silver screen + SJP + OMG = Sex & The City: The Movie

Again, it's just a tagline away from being a horror film. "This Spring, Get Carried (wink wink) Away" could so easily be "This Spring, Fashion Consumes Everything" (which would explain that giant flower wrapping its hideous petals around Carrie's neck), or "This Spring, Find Out Who Dies Alone" (which would be more appropriate.)