Here’s what’s up in the world of TV for Monday, December 28. All times are Eastern.
WWE Monday Night RAW (USA, 8 p.m.): Look, there’s not that much on television right now. Things are dire. Coincidentally, things have been dire for WWE Monday Night RAW for a while now. We’re talking dwindling ratings, mind-numbing creative direction, and so many injured wrestlers. But, surprisingly, there is one man who might be able to fix that. His name is John Cena, because that’s how bad things are: There’s not enough John Cena in WWE. So Kyle Fowle will spend the entirety of his RAW review singing the praises of one Mr. John Cena, and we’ll just have to deal with it. Because there’s really not that much on television right now.
Monday Night Football: Bengals at Broncos (ESPN, 8:15 p.m.): By the way, this is apparently the “46th season finale” of Monday Night Football. That’s how these things work, right?
Superstore / Telenovela (NBC, 9 / 9:30 p.m.): You know what? Your friendly neighborhood What’s On Tonight contributor found both of these new NBC shows rather endearing, so hopefully that bodes well for their longevity. If you haven’t watched either of these show’s third episodes on Hulu yet, now’s your chance to get in on the network showing. Superstore gives us “Shots And Salsa,” while “Telenovela” gives us “Trapped In A Well,” and honestly, both of those episode titles sound like they could be for Telenovela. Actually, both of those titles sound like they could work for Superstore too. Is this the next step in NBC’s quest for brand synergy?
Since Peak Television has entered a temporary, holiday-induced stasis, it looks like you’ll just have to get excited about what will be on your screens soon. That’s where Vikram Murthi’s pre-air review of Mozart In The Jungle’s second season comes in.
Hollywood Medium (E!, 8 p.m.): Ooh, a “preview special!” Here, spend 30 minutes of your life watching “a sneak peek of the series about 20-year-old clairvoyant Tyler Henry, who has recently moved to Los Angeles in order to better serve his new client pool of celebrities.”
Bible Bowl (TLC, 8 p.m.): “A look at seven teams of young people preparing for a national competition in Cincinnati that tests their knowledge of Bible verses.” This honestly sounds… fascinating.
Love & Hip Hop (VH1, 8 p.m.): “No synopsis available” Clearly this episode deserves such a high level of secrecy that no episode synopsis can be found, and as such, we’re assuming this will be the latest entry for Best TV of 2015.
Heroin: Cape Cod, USA (HBO, 9 p.m.): Let’s talk about opiates, baby. Continue that modified Salt-N-Pepa tune on your own time. “A look at opiate addiction in the U.S. focuses on eight twentysomethings in Massachusetts, who discuss their drug habits and how they got started. Also: a visit to a support group for parents of abusers.” Allow this to be the jumping off point for your New Year’s resolutions.
Antiques Roadshow (PBS, 9 p.m.): 19 seasons of Antiques Roadshow, and now it’s time for a $45,000 treasure! In “Treasures On The Move”—the show’s 19th season finale—Antiques Roadshow demands that the audience “travel through air, sea, land - and time.” Now, that last part is kind of difficult, but if any show can do it, it’s PBS’ Antiques Roadshow, right?
Legends (TNT, 9 p.m.): Ooh, three-episode special for Legends’ “season” finale. How nice. That’s almost as long as one showing of Lord Of The Rings on TNT. (BOOM!)
Red Devil Racers (Discovery Channel, 10 p.m.): “A Southern car club’s members rebuild everyday vehicles to compete in high-stakes street races.” Red Devil Racers is a funny name for Pimp My Ride…
Barbara Walters Presents American Scandals (Investigation Discovery, 10 p.m.): If you’re going to end the first season of your true crime show with the ridiculously long name, you’ve got to let it go out with a bang, baby! Barbara Walters is an old pro, so of course she knows that: That’s why the first season finale of Barbara Walters Presents American Scandals is “Robert Blake: A Hollywood Hit.”
Teen Mom OG (MTV, 10 p.m.): “Maci, Farrah, Cate and Amber reveal their experiences shooting Teen Mom; and how close they are to the crew. Included: personal home videos.” Spoiler alert: No one actually parents. Now that’s really OG.
Independent Lens (PBS, 10 p.m.): “Meet José, a bright third grader, and his dedicated teacher, both sons of migrant farm workers.” Sure, we can do that.
Black Ink Crew: Chicago (VH1, 10 p.m.): Since this is the first season finale, we figured we’d finally mention this show that does in fact exist. “Van receives shocking news at his court appearance, leading him to debate if he should run; and Kat questions the girls’ loyalty after they fail to visit her. Elsewhere, Don takes Ashley on a weekend trip in order to prove his loyalty.” This show is supposedly about a tattoo shop.
Super Into (TruTV, 10:30 p.m.): Tonight, you don’t have to settle with finding out what just one star is “super into”—you’ll get two for the price of one. Alright, maybe like one and a half for the price of one. It’s “Super Into With Reggie Watts And Adrianne Curry,” because those are two people who you can never avoid lumping together. Adrianne Curry for next Comedy Bang! Bang! bandleader, am I right, girlfriend?
Bad Hair Day (Disney Channel, 8 p.m.): “A girl’s prom day goes from bad to worse when she not only has to deal with unruly hair but is also mistakenly enlisted by a detective to help track down a jewel thief.” Is anyone 100 percent sure this is an actual Disney Channel Original Movie and not a Saturday Night Live sketch?
Into The Blue (The Movie Channel, 8 p.m.): “Thriller about divers battling sharks and criminals after discovering treasure and a crashed plane loaded with drugs.” That’s what Into The Blue is about? That’s a lot of things for a movie to be about. We thought it was just Blue Crush with Paul Walker. Wait, what’s Blue Crush about? (Well, based on our linking, we just realized that both movies were from the same writer-director. So it is Blue Crush with Paul Walker, but it’s not just that.)
Is that movie My Teacher’s Wife on again?
Yes. Yes it is. On Showtime Next at 6:35 p.m.
Barclays Premier League Soccer: Manchester United vs. Chelsea (NBC Sports, 12:30 p.m.)
Military Bowl: Pittsburgh at Navy (ESPN, 2:30 p.m.)
Quick Lane Bowl: Central Michigan vs. Minnesota (ESPN2, 5 p.m.)
College Basketball: North Carolina (Greensboro) at North Carolina (ESPNU, 6 p.m.)
College Basketball: Pennsylvania at Villanova (FS1, 7 p.m.)
NBA Basketball: Pelicans at Magic (FSN, 7 p.m.)
College Basketball: Elon Phoenix at Duke (ESPNU, 8 p.m.)
Women’s Basketball: Maryland vs. Connecticut (ESPN2, 8:30 p.m.)
College Basketball: Coppin State at Creighton (FS1, 9 p.m.)
Flesh And Bone: Ended.