Traffic in Australia is just offal after semi-truck sloshes animal guts across highway

Get it? Because it's both a commuter issue and a disgusting public health hazard.

By Andrew Paul  |  January 13, 2022 | 11:00pm
Aux Features Offal
Traffic in Australia is just offal after semi-truck sloshes animal guts across highway
It’s summer down there right now, by the way… Screenshot: 9News Melborne

Not to be outdone by America’s recent traffic nightmares, Australia has countered our blizzard-induced logjams in the most Australian way possible: Earlier this week, an 18-wheeler collided with another motorist on a freeway ramp near Melbourne, spilling hundreds of pounds’ worth of animal entrails and other “abattoir waste” across the asphalt.

If you’ll recall, Australia resides in the Southern Hemisphere, meaning it is currently summer down there… it’s about 93 degrees Fahrenheit at the site of the crash, to be more specific. We’ll let you “stew” on that image for a moment…

“MEAT SPILL,” announced 9News Melbourne yesterday via Twitter. “The left lane of the M80 Boundary Road exit ramp has been CLOSED due to a truck spillage of animal entrails and meat waste,” the continued, adding that “The Department of Transport has warned that the gruesome cleanup ‘will take some time.’”

Godspeed, Department of Transport. Godspeed.

Oh, and by the way—this isn’t even the first time that animal guts spilled across Australian roadways in the past goddamn month. On December 21, a van accidentally and “inexplicably” dumped heaps of salmon across a bridge in Sydney. Luckily, that incident apparently only took a few hours to cleanup, as opposed to the current gut-punch (not sorry) being endured by local health officials.

Say! Would you like to gawk at some more gross images of rendered animal entrails baking in the Australian sun? Of course you’d like to gawk at some more gross images of rendered animal entrails baking in the Australian sun… and we are more than happy to oblige such a morbid curiosity.

“Thanks to all motorists for your patience and to crews who worked on an ‘offally’ warm day to clean up the mess,” tweeted VicTraffic, which alright—let’s leave these puns to the pros, okay?

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