Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.
Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.

True Blood: Never Let Me Go

Illustration for article titled True Blood: Never Let Me Go

Let's get it out of the way: Topping this week's True Blood themes are a) family/kin and b) ladies reaching for dick. Family first!

Bon Temps siblings Sookie "Easy Peasy" and Jason "Itty Bitty" Stackhouse are rising in the ranks of their respective sides of the war-a-brewin'. Sookie's ignoring just about everything everyone tells her and volunteers to infiltrate Light Of Day, where, unbeknownst to her, Jason's tossing rocket launchers over his shoulder with a hearty "amen." Jason, for his part, is set to interfere with the Newlins' happy home by allowing Sarah into his bath.

Meanwhile, Tara's turning the Stackhouse home over to Maryann. We learn that Maryann's power extends beyond the careful craft of orgy to making people angry from outside in a car. Also, homemaking. After Eggs delivers a well-placed lecture on the meaning of family, Tara's no longer sure who her family is. Everyone at work suddenly hates her, but she returns home to find a makeup-less Maryann dressed up like Gran all homely like. Maryann FTW; she finally understands what Tara needs. (We still don't know what Maryann needs from Tara, but I do like the theory from the comments last week that she plans to impregnate her with some sort of creature-baby.)

I said last week I was hoping for a glimpse of the Newlins' marriage outside the earshot of other Light-Of-Dayers. Tonight we saw not conspiracy, but that Steve's been shutting Sarah out, plotting with Gabe before sharing with his wife. Steve's ready to shut her out and cozy up with Jason all by himself. (He's leaning gay, right?) He even brings up divorce as they're walking down the stairs, responding to Jason's "but you've got Sarah" with a wonderfully wooden, "I've got her even when I don't want her, ha ha ha ha ha, you know I'm just kidding." Well done.

With vampires, family spreads through making. We learned this episode why Eric cares deeply for Godric—Godric is his maker, and a good one at that. While Bill lost his humanity to a cruel prank on a soldier, "Young" Godric sought out viking Eric and nearly asked his permission before turning him. Godric spells it out for us, too—leaving the human world to join a maker makes him the brother, father, and child. And here comes (cliffhanger!) Bill's maker to screw everything up. Yes! I hope she likes her granddaughter Jessica.

Other kind pairing up this episode are our two telepaths and shapeshifters. I could take or leave Daphne at this point, but I certainly hope we see more of Barry. His earnestness and paranoia are so refreshing in the face of Sookie's blind optimism. Her naiveté is waning, yes, what with her enthusiasm for adult videos and comments about using her telepathy to make money, but she continues to prance around in white underwear and refuse to listen to those around her. She blabs to Bill about meeting another telepath, most likely putting Barry on the line somewhere in the future, and is ready to go "infiltrate" the Fellowship Of The Sun. Good luck, Sooks. I'm sure nothing scary will happen to you in the daytime.


Enough with family—on with the sex. This episode saw some serious power/dick grabbing from our leading ladies. Daphne takes charge of her relationship with Sam, speaking knowledgeably (almost patronizingly) about shape-shifters and the kind of electricity they feel when ready to shift. She then grabs him, asking if the charge starts down there. What do you know, it does! Sookie also manhandles Bill, no longer satisfied with just being held. And completing the Trifecta this week is of course Sarah, who makes a powerful grab for Jason after likening herself to Mary Magdalene in what was surely the most hilarious scene of this week's episode. (Sarah: "Mary Magdalene washed the feet of Jesus and dried 'em with her hair. Isn't that lovely?" Jason: "Wasn't she like a hooker?") Thusly she abandons the green loofah and rewards Jason by helping him find his way back to joy.

For the opposite of joy, look only to poor Lafayette. Another episode goes by without much of him in it. He shows up in his old get-up, which emphasizes what a shell he's become. He's the saddest makeup-wearing gay man ever. The dungeon trauma sucked the life out of him, vampire or no, and the effect of Eric's blood is long gone. Maybe the vamps will turn him still; he's got to find a way to get to Dallas. The city suits him.


Finally, Camp Brainwash continued to deliver this week's hilarity, with the Newlins amassing quite the comedic team. They're so preposterous that I seriously had to pause the TiVo and rewind to get all of Sarah's Jesus talk while holding a green loofah. Luke's antics during the drill sergeant bit also had me going.

Grade: A-


—Sorry for the delay this week; no screener this week + sickness.

—We get it: You, Bill, are not like other vampires and generally don't like to hang with them. You, Sookie, are good at reassuring him that he isn't like other vampires. Can we please move on?


—Jessica: "Sookie, there's dirty movies on TV!"
Sookie: (equally as excited) "I know, yuck!"

—Nice rack / nice balls. [Head hits keyboard.]

—Seriously, Sam, no questions about those scratches?!

—The danishes are Danish.