We all know that just a mere glimpse of Robert Pattinson's, aka Sparkly Dracula's, apple-shaped head can cause an twelve-year-old girl to gleefully shriek so loud she shakes loose an egg from the tiny basket inside of her that then drifts down to her baby incubator, where it waits (in vain) to be fertilized by vampire glitter. (I'm pretty sure that's how ovulation works.) In short, Robert Pattinson can kickstart many a young girl's reproductive system/sex drive. But before this year, Pattinson couldn't watch an unauthorized "documentary" about how totes cute he is and how everyone is totes obsessed with him. Now, however, he can. In fact, we all can. Joy.