Two And A Half Men's new "half-man" is a lesbian played by Amber Tamblyn

By Sean O'Neal | August 8, 2013 | 4:05pm

Aux Features TV

Left in want of a half-man—now that Angus T. Steakflower is leaving to pursue a presidential bid on a platform of Seventh-day Adventism and rendered hog fat for all, save the blasphemous Huguenots—CBS’s Two And A Half Men sought to replace him with a not-man. Or, as they are commonly known, a “woman,” the show’s producers secure in the knowledge that a character’s funniness lies in inverse proportion to their fraction of manliness. And now that not-man has been revealed: It’s Amber Tamblyn, star of House and household conversations with husband David Cross where he’s like, “Oh… That’s great, honey. I was in Alvin And The Chipmunks, so I know work is work.”

According to Deadline, Tamblyn will play the “secret daughter” of Charlie Sheen’s late character, who turns up in L.A. in a bid to pursue acting and reconnect with her family, at a serendipitous time when that family could use a third person to justify still being on television. Also, “In a twist, she likes everything her dad liked, including women”—which means that the new “half-man” is, implicitly, a lesbian. So from here on out, Two And A Half Men’s audience will be learning as well as laughing.