Watch a horrifying compilation of lowlights from Facebook's Meta rebrand video

Last week, Mark Zuckerberg and his minions delivered a lengthy, prerecorded presentation on Facebook’s mutation rebrand into Meta, an umbrella corporation that encompasses all things “metaverse” and appears hellbent on ushering us into our next phase of dystopian existence. Zuck promised an entirely new age of the Internet through Meta, one filled with wonders and social connectivity—and not, say, a future consisting primarily of awkward VR work meetings, data privacy violations, and augmented reality furry orgies. It remains hard to convince us of anything other than the latter possibility.

Case in point: no amount of corporate polish could hide the uncanny awfulness that pervaded Meta’s announcement, but a new distillation of the nearly 80-minute sales pitch gives viewers a brief rundown of the presentation’s “highlights,” as they were. Brace yourselves for Meta:

Over the weekend, a mystery YouTuber known as BrainRod released a 9-minute summation of last week’s WTF—just in time for Halloween. Although the spooky festivities are firmly behind us, BrainRod’s compilation proves that, in the Metaverse, terror is always in season (we’re trademarking that tagline, by the way).