Javelinas, also known as peccaries, are decidedly hog-like mammals native to southern Texas and Arizona. They stink like skunks and communicate through their asses. They are also fast as hell.
Just look at this little fucker go.
As KOLD News 13 reports, footage of the glorious beast was filmed by a Tucson resident before it sprinted onto Twitter thanks to the station’s Hannah Tiede. The wind coursing through its fur, the javelina—which, to be clear, is neither feral nor hog—is the freest thing we’ve ever seen, unbound by herd or custom. We long for the gentle spring of its step, the lightness of soaring as much above the ground as on it. And we’re not alone.
And while it’s sweet to hear the cameraman encourage the little guy, the clip demands more, a score to match its epic gait. Thankfully, the masses were happy to oblige.
The vivid, neon-streaked pulse of M83's “Midnight City” will do:
So will Vicky Vale’s coked-out 1998 single “Dancing”:
John Mayer’s “No Such Thing” we’re less hot on, but why the hell not:
And, in perhaps the greatest pairing of all, the javelina zooms to “Dragula”:
There’s more, too. The javelina sprints to Nicki Minaj, Matthew Wilder, Stevie Nicks, and, of course, the Crash Bandicoot soundtrack.
Run, javelina, run. Just, please, not into traffic. You are much too cute.