Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.
Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.

When Choirs Clash

In this week's Tolerability Index I mention a new terrible show on NBC. But in order to fully appreciate the echoing stupidity that is NBC's Clash Of The Choirs, there are a few things that you need to fully understand:

First off, you're aware that America likes nothing more than to watch people sing on television and then vote on that singing, right? It's endlessly entertaining because it's, like, real and there's voting, you know?

Secondly, there is this whole class of people known as "has-beens"–like Jessica Simpson's ex-husband, Michael Bolton and other people from the year 1992, non-Beyonce members of Destiny's Child who had that one song with Nelly a while ago, and some dude named Blake–who desperately need work. Who is NBC to refuse them the reality competition that would provide them a slim, dim ray of the life-sustaining public spotlight they need in order to maintain celebrity photosynthesis?

Third, you know "We Will Rock You," right? It's the song that plays every time a soul dies, or at regular intervals at major sporting events. People never, ever get tired of this song. When America lays down its head for its collective afternoon nap, its collective heart beats, "We Will, we will rock you."

Now you're ready to watch a Clash Of The Choirs promo. How could a show that combines all of these elements not exist? It's practically pre-destined. America, Get ready to get choired!!!!

There are at least 1000 things that would be more entertaining than watching a TV show about choirs. The first is watching a quarter spin on its side before it runs out of momentum and falls flat on a table.


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