Witches around the world are planning to cast a spell on Donald Trump tomorrow night. A document detailing the witches’ plan to bind Trump to all who encourage or assist him in wrongdoing has been circulating among witch groups online, and even non-witches are encouraged to participate. There’s even a Facebook page where anti-Trump witches can share their tips and tactics.
The witchiness is set to take place at the stroke of midnight Friday, February 24, which is a waning crescent ritual day. It will be repeated each waning crescent ritual day—March 26, April 24, May 23, June 21, and so on—until Trump leaves office. The rite will supposedly be most effective on June 21, as that’s also the summer solstice.
For those hoping to participate and harness your inner Craft, you’ll need an unflattering picture of Trump, a Tower tarot card, a bit of an orange candle, a pin or small nail, small bowls of both water and salt, a feather, matches, and an ashtray. If you don’t have an orange candle—because who does?—you can also use a baby carrot.
Once you have all those ingredients, you’ll just have to inscribe “Donald J. Trump” on the candle or carrot using the pin or nail, arrange the rest of the items in a circle, and start reciting a banishing ritual that includes lines like,
I call upon you / To bind / Donald J. Trump / So that he may fail utterly / That he may do no harm / To any human soul / Nor any tree / Animal / Rock / Stream / or Sea. Bind him so that he shall not break our polity / Usurp our liberty / Or fill our minds with hate, confusion, fear, or despair / And bind, too, / All those who enable his wickedness / And those whose mouths speak his poisonous lies.
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As one might expect, Christian Trump supporters have picked up on the witches’ plans and plan to pray en masse in an effort to zero out the charm’s effects. According to ChristianNationalism.com—a site that’s proudly anti-Islam, anti-Communism, and anti-liberalism—“The closer we [the Christian right] come to reclaiming this land from the hands of the godless the more agitated and irrational the Left becomes. This ritual is an extension of the riots and physical assaults which [sic] have plagued the US since the election. It all stems from the same spiritual sickness.” The site asks for interested parties to “join us in praying for the strength of our nation, our elected representatives and for the souls of the lost who would take up Satanic arms against us.”
As a reminder, Trump has just completed his first month in office. Only 47 more to go, you guys.