A Knight Of The Seven Kingdoms, much like the series of novellas on which it’s based, is zeroed in on the humanity of its characters, ridiculous or embarrassed as they can sometimes be. If Ser Dunk’s brief but energetic bout of diarrhea hadn’t already made that clear, this week’s vivid recounting of Ser Arlan Of Pennytree (Danny Webb) reiterates the point: The saga of Ser Duncan The Tall (Peter Claffey) and his squire Egg (Dexter Sol Ansell) is shaping up to be a bawdier, earthier affair than Game Of Thrones or House Of The Dragon, more Tyrion Lannister than Ned Stark.
That’s not a bad thing. In fact, the series can be hilarious when it veers into lampoon, as it does when Dunk recounts the exploits of his fallen mentor to Leo “Longthorn” Tyrell (Steve Wall), giving us a fuller view of his ser’s, um, greatness. We watch Arlan attend to his post-coital duties, as we listen to Dunk begging Tyrell to remember the man’s deeds and to vouch for him for the lists at Ashford Meadow. It’s a startling moment—not just for the hugeness of Ser Arlan’s member, but for what else we see and the smash cut to black that follows as the title card drops. Says Dunk: “Even as he was dying, he just…he just got on with it.”
“Hard Salt Beef,” directed by Owen Harris and written by Aziza Barnes and series co-creator Ira Parker, strikes a nimble balance of irreverence and pathos that a less conscientious production would fumble. It’s all in the brief morning quiet that follows Dunk’s line, nestled in the blackness, before the episode begins in earnest. It allows us to clear our throats, settle in, and ruminate a bit on what Arlan meant to Dunk and what kind of man this fallen knight brought up. It’s a phenomenal show of storytelling dexterity. Are we meant to interpret Arlan’s enormous phallus as shorthand for the enormity of his modest legend in Ser Dunk’s heart? Or was Ser Arlan simply granted by the gods a second, equally reliable sword?
Clearly, this moment isn’t from Dunk’s memory. Its frank intimacy rules that out, as does a detail that Dunk might have overlooked: a nasty red gash on Arlan’s arm, perhaps from some minor scuffle or accident. He regards the wound silently before returning to bed, worry flashing quickly across his face followed by something resembling acceptance. Dunk’s words at this exact moment—“he never complained”—suggest Arlan kept its severity from his squire. It represents the kind of knight Ser Arlan was: full of life and content with his lot. The words are Dunk’s, but this memory, I think, is meant solely for us.
“Hard Salt Beef” ushers in a new day and a new host of worries for Ser Dunk. Tyrell’s response to Ser Arlan’s service, delivered through a mouthful of sourleaf, is curt and final: “I knew him not.” Lord Ashford’s tourney looms, but our hedge knight, discouraged but undaunted, presses on with Egg squeaking in his ear. “[Arlan] can’t have been a very good [knight] if no one remembers him.” It’s a troubling thought for Dunk to chew on and one that will prove significant later. For now, his ser’s relentless begging chafes Egg, who lets off a bit more steam than he likely means to: “You are a knight of the realm, ser; you can say fuck their permission, ride into the lists, call out Longthorn Tyrell, and turn his arsehole into a lance-hole!” Unbecoming language for a squire, perhaps, but the boy has a point: Why doesn’t Dunk flex his rights as a knight of the Seven Kingdoms? Unless, of course, he has something to hide?
Dunk’s secrets will keep for now. The heralds trumpet the arrival of House Targaryen, and all of Ashford Meadows snaps to attention—including Egg, who gets one peep at those banners and bolts back to camp. This frees Dunk to ingratiate himself indelicately with the ruling house: Baelor (Bertie Carvel), King Daeron’s Hand and eldest son (see stray observations); Maekar (Sam Spruell), afforded lesser heraldry compared to his brother; and Prince Aerion (Finn Bennett), Maekar’s haughty son, who clocks Dunk as a servant on sight. “I have the honor of being a knight!” Dunk insists, to which Aerion sneers, “Knighthood has fallen on sad days.” After a stablehand takes a princely hoof to the face, Dunk leads Aerion’s horse to the stables, where he encounters two Kingsguard: Ser Roland Crakehall (Wade Briggs) and Ser Donnel Of Duskendale (Bill Ward).
Courteous and steeped in classism, this meeting charts the distance between hedge knight and royal knight. Donnel mocks Roland’s grief about shitting in the stables (“a man of such birth has never deigned to disturb his arsehole with hay”), prompting a sympathetic retort from Dunk. Here, Donnel regards Dunk and claims humbler beginnings than his sworn brother—that he, like Dunk, is from “nowhere,” that his family has been crabbers since days immemorial. “May I ask, ser, how the son of a crabber came to have the honor of being a knight in the Kingsguard?” “Same way we became crabbers.”
Whatever Donnel meant by that—Egg clarifies matters later, which I’ll get to—it sparks ambition within Dunk. Soon, he’s skulking the service corridors of House Ashford, overhearing the Hand, Maekar, Lord Ashford (Paul Hunter), and Plummer, the master of games (Tom Vaughan-Lawlor), discuss the absence of Maekar’s other two sons, Daeron and Aegon. Before he’s caught sneaking, Lady Gwin Ashford (Cara Harris) creeps up behind him and casually suggests the missing princes could be dead—and that wars have started over less. She’s playing with Dunk, another example of how the highborn treat smallfolk. She’s perhaps even flirting with him in her own cracked way. (“You’re big and stupid!” she says with a flick of her hand, causing Dunk to flinch.) But there’s no time for love: Dunk’s busted by Maekar, forcing the smelly hedge knight to plead his case before the Hand Of The King.
It’s a fun scene. Plummer guides Dunk through his first, disastrous stab at politics with stiff nods and grimaces, and the dynamics of House Targaryen at this point in Westerosi history become clearer. Baelor is kind and patient, even if Dunk tests him with his fumbling entreaties; Maekar, all dragon fire, barely tolerates it. Baelor also recalls Arlan, which Maekar scoffs at. And so, after some mild dickering over Ser Arlan’s joust with Baelor (four lances broke that day, not seven), Baelor grants Dunk his wish to join the lists on one condition: He must find a sigil of his own.
So, what will be the standard of Ser Duncan The Tall? Egg, back from camp, contributes an idea as Dunk brainstorms before Tanselle (Tanzyn Crawford), the puppeteer from Dorne who makes ser weak at the knees: a grand elm tree over a field of sunset hues and a shooting star soaring overhead. Will she paint this sigil for the hedge knight? Does she share Dunk’s feelings as she nearly shares his height? The first answer comes quickly—she takes the shield with his thanks—while the second will have to stew awhile longer in sweet Dunk’s head. There’s plenty to distract him from love’s subtle call: Lyonel Baratheon (Daniel Ings) bids him join a tug of war against House Tyrell (among others), and soon, the first jousts begin.
It’s here where new facets of Egg begin to show. For starters, the joust brings out his inner flame: he roars himself hoarse and later swings a stick at invisible Blackfyre rebels. Where does this behavior come from? Certainly not the same part of King’s Landing that Dunk’s been to. And Dunk, meanwhile, gets a rude awakening about the caliber of knight he’s up against: One rider (Ross Anderson’s Ser Hardyng) is unhorsed at full gallop only to haul himself and his shield back into the saddle without his steed breaking stride. Strength alone may get him noticed, but it won’t win Dunk Ashford Meadow. Then, there’s an unbidden image: his dead ser lying in his muddy grave, a harsh contrast to the pomp he witnesses at the joust.
Back to Egg, who earlier showcased his knowledge about royal houses, including Duskendale. What he has to share reframes Ser Donnel in Dunk’s estimation. This supposed “son of a crabber” is actually the heir to a maritime empire; his humility might be genuine, but it’s not the same as Dunk’s. Dunk doesn’t fully understand the significance of Egg’s savvy royal trivia yet—the boy seems to be more than he lets on, but he’s got too many things rattling around in his skull—but he picks up that he and Ser Donnel are definitely not of the same stock. So what kind of knight will Ser Duncan be?
The better question is: What kind of knight does Duncan want to be? A peacocking Kingsguard, or a vainglorious braggart who chomps the heads off fish before running full tilt? Is that what a knight is? If so, what does that make Ser Arlan, who won no jousts, owned no lands, and died by the side of a muddy road? The answer is the kind of knight Dunk admires, which speaks to his heart. It’s why the blacksmith Steely Pate (Youssef Kerkour) takes pity on him, why Baelor grants his greatest wish despite barely knowing him. The deep regret Dunk shows as he sells his horse, Sweetfoot, to afford proper armor says it all. Coming just moments after a rowdy, muddy, profanity-laden match between houses, the scene underscores what A Knight Of The Seven Kingdoms is doing so well. Between raunchy knight-bro excess and a keenly felt heart, the series strikes a remarkable balance.
Stray observations
- • Dunk: “On the morrow, we will show them what [Arlan’s] hand has wrought.” With newfound confidence, that hard salt beef becomes easier to chew.
- • This episode is dedicated to its co-writer, Aziza Barnes, who took their own life in 2024.
- • Of course, Aerion is the scion of Maekar—not his sire, as I wrote last week like a complete dunderhead. What can I say? I biffed it! Also, Maekar is the younger son of Daeron “The Good.” Dunno how I screwed that one up, too! I’ll do better.
- • “Who’s come?” “Can’t you see the banners, you giant cunt?” The delivery of that line! I fell off my couch laughing.
- • I don’t know why, but Maekar’s expression upon Dunk’s line—“I trust [your sons] will not be found dead”—reminded me of the look of baffled disgust Robert Vaughn gives Matt Stone in Baseketball. Priceless.
- • Tanselle’s latest poem recounts the epic of Florian The Fool, a legendary knight from Westeros’ vaunted Age Of Heroes.
- • I couldn’t find space to talk about it in the recap, but the joust sequence is terrific. Solid nighttime photography, compositions grimed with dirt and splintered wood, grunts and gallops. It’s a tantalizing promise of things to come.
- • Baelor and his son, Prince Valarr (Oscar Morgan), have darker locks than the typical Targaryen thanks to Baelor’s Dornish heritage. Just another thing he doesn’t share with his tempestuous brother.
Jarrod Jones is a contributor to The A.V. Club.
Keep scrolling for more great stories.