Yesterday, the attorney representing InfoWars host Alex Jones in a custody battle tried to explain that his client’s history of screaming hateful, unhinged nonsense on the air—like, say, that the shooting at Sandy Hook was a hoax, or that the government is run by lizard people who are actively trying to murder American citizens, or about a million casually racist conspiracy theories—was all part of him “playing a character” and being “a performance artist.” If that’s the case, someone probably should’ve told Jones that he only has to play the character when he’s actually doing his show, because the “Alex Jones” character really fucked everything up for Alex Jones the person on the first day of his custody trial.
For starters, Jones filmed a video while driving to court this morning in which he goes on a nearly four-minute rant—not counting stuff that was clearly edited out—about how everyone in the world is an actor, and even though he admits that he’s an actor, he says, “I believe in what I stand for.” That comes in the first few seconds, and the rest of the video is all about how smart and talented he is, with Jones going on to explain that he’s not really a “right-wing extremist,” but he is still trying to repeal all the gun laws and expose “globalism” and the massive conspiracies that supposedly run the world. Basically, as he’s literally on his way to court so his lawyer can explain that the things he says on the radio aren’t real, he’s screaming in his car about how all of the things he says are real. If he’s playing a character, it’s a masterpiece:
As fun as that was, the real fun kicked off when Jones finally got to court. As reported by Death And Taxes, journalists on the scene said that Bobby Newman, the attorney working for Jones’ ex-wife, pointed out that Jones couldn’t remember “basic facts” about his children in a recorded deposition because—and this is in the running for quote of the year—he “had a big bowl of chili for lunch.” That may seem like a ridiculous thing to say, but lawyers actually spend years learning what’s called “The Chili Defense” in school, and it’s typically used when a giant creep who drools over the murder of innocent children needs a way to explain why he couldn’t give less of a shit about his own kids. It’s unclear if it’s supposed to be the “Alex Jones” character who loves chili more than his family, but it’s a fun trait either way.