The Royals (E!, 9 p.m.): We don’t believe in the Illuminati or whatever closeted slime monster Scientologists pay tribute to, but we do believe that greater forces must exist if we get to live in a reality where Elizabeth Hurley plays a naughty queen. Created by Mark Schwahn (of One Tree Hill! This is true!), The Royals is E!’s first foray into scripted television, and they’re so confident in the series that they have already renewed it for a second season. Will The Royals be E!’s Gossip Girl? Is being E!’s Gossip Girl even a good thing? Does that make Liz Hurley the new Blair Waldorf? And finally, is there anything more confusing yet perfectly fitting than the cast of Pump Rules livetweeting this premiere at Lisa Van Der Pump’s Sur Restaurant? Either way, Caroline Siede will be there to greet our new Queen with some well-reasoned criticism and a spot of high tea.
The Jinx(HBO, 8 p.m.): While The Jinx never quite blew up in the same way Serial did, it still brought enough attention to reopen Robert Durst’s bizarre case (EDIT: and not hours after this went live, he was arrested for murder). Tonight, the season sashays away.
Episodes(Showtime, 10 p.m.): The fourth season wraps it up with some self-referential farce of the British and/or Joey Tribbiani variety, we assume.
Bob’s Burgers (Fox, 7:30 p.m.): Louise goes on a wild chase to find a lost chinchilla and we don’t think an episode summary has ever made us feel this much joy.
30 For 30: “I Hate Christian Laettner” (ESPN, 9 p.m.): Tonight’s episode delves into the question of why a bunch of people hated a smug Ivy League Duke athlete and we don’t understand how it’s any longer than this sentence.
Breaking Borders (Travel, 9 p.m.): Chef and Top Chef alum Michael Voltaggio co-hosts this new series with journalist Mariana van Zeller, which aims to “gather people from all sides of [a] conflict to a delicious meal and talk about the issues that divide them.” Sounds like your family’s Thanksgiving, are we right?! Ha ha ha ha oh god, we’re so tired, it’s Sunday, let us have this.
Keeping Up With The Kardashians (E!, 10 p.m.): The tenth (tenth!) season premieres tonight, but since the show is so far behind the Kardashians’ current reality, we will have to wait to see Kim try to recover her probable horror when she first saw her blonde hair.
Jurassic Park (AMC, 3 p.m.): We’ll say it: there are no more jokes to make about Jurassic Park. There are no more things to say about how hot Jeff Goldblum is in Jurassic Park. There is nothing more to do about how Dinosaur Supervisor Phil Tippett fucked up his “one job!” Just…Jurassic Park is on, watch it or don’t.
Bracketology (ESPN2, 6 p.m.): Just in case your office doesn’t have that one person who won’t shut up about their March Madness bracket, ESPN2 is filling up two hours with a bracketologist. There are no winners in Bracketology.
Watch What Happens Live (Bravo, 11 p.m.): We were going to find a way to link to this video no matter what was on tonight, but since this episode will actually feature Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt’s Titus Burgess, allow us to make your Sunday just that much more spectacu-lar:
In case you missed it
Comedy Bang Bang: Zach Galifianakis returns to Comedy Bing Bong, and this time, he’s wearing grey corduroys!
