Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.
Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.

American Idol: 1 of 6 Voted Off

Illustration for article titled American Idol: 1 of 6 Voted Off

Well that was quite the roller coaster ride.  At first I was like shit, and then I was like wow and then I was like ugh and then I was like huh and then I was like eh and then I was like wha? and then I was like ahh and then I was like hm and then finally omg. 

Shit: My DVR farted out on me and I missed the first few minutes of the episode, the one time a performance kicks off a results show. So I missed all of Rascal Flatts except for the final note. My e-buddy, music writer Maura Johnston however opined to me via Twitter, "their new direction is apparently Maroon 2.5 — they get 50% off for the less vocally adept frontman." 

Wow: The extent to which Idol was killing time this episode: not only did we see the Ford music video (Idol's attempt to get in on that super-hot vampire buzz), but we saw the "behind the scenes" footage as well. 

Ugh: There is another Shrek movie coming out and we had more of our precious time killed as we saw the idols check out the premiere, and then enjoyed an awkward stop-by from Antonio Banderas and Cameron Diaz. I was starting to think this was going to be a really shitty results show but I wasn't ready for the places it would go yet.

Huh: Bottom three were Casey, Mike and Siobhan. I didn't expect that: I thought all three of them had America in their pockets for at least another week or so.

Eh: Next week it's Frank Sinatra night with Harry Connick Jr. serving as mentor.  I don't think I need to reassure everyone that I have a high opinion of the music of Frank Sinatra but come on, Idol, what is this, Season 2?  I don't have high hopes for this. I already imagine the guys all in their jackets and unbuttoned shirts and untied, no wait, never-tied ties. There will be finger-snapping and probably even a hat. I don't want it.

Wha?: Sons of Sylvia.  They're allegedly country, but I couldn't hear anything country about them. I could see with my eyes that the brothers onstage played country instruments but other than that I didn't pick up on anything country, just generic rock.  With the boys glammy-gothed up, it was like vampire country (once again, coming back to bloodsuckers.)  Also, the lead singer kind of looked like Michael J Fox. Also, the lead singer played the violin and sang?  And also, why was the drum kit set up on a card table? 

Ahh: I actually really liked Lady Antebellum. I thought their song "Need You Now" was pretty, I liked the girl/guy harmony and I'm a sucker for any song where a guy and a girl sing to each other earnestly. I'm going to go back and re-watch that I think, even.

Hm: I like Shakira.  Often I hate her voice.  I like it when she belly dances. I dislike the song "Gypsy."  She played harmonica and harmonized with the guy from Rascal Flatts. They too looked at each other while they sang.  She quoted Theodore Roosevelt.  It was a little confusing but overall positive.

Omg: Mike was safe, and it was the carpenter vs the glassblower on the chopping block. Come on now, you know that in a battle like that the guy who has Jesus' old job will come out on top: Siobhan's going home!  I really didn't expect her to leave at this point. For a second I felt sorry, because I'm not going to have anyone to hate on from this point forward.  But then she sang "Think" and when she got up in the high notes I realized this was all for the best.

Despite all this excitement it felt like the show still had about a minute to kill as the camera lingered on Siobhan hugging her family and then the judges, Ellen telling her that she would have her on her talk show.  I dunno, where do we go from here? Start predicting the order in which everyone else will go out? I guess it's just a matter of time for Aaron, Mike and Casey.

—Was tonight's episode grade a joke? I am still deciding.

—I don't understand why, for the Ford commercial, they put fangs in on Siobhan but used special effects for the others. Did they only have one set of fangs to go around?

—I like that Mike joked about the paucity of Ryan's lines in Shrek because he knows if Ryan would complain he could fold him up and put him in his pocket (and Ryan would love it).

—For once Simon was the one being the turd in the Ryan/Simon interplay. "Imagine you singing."

—Maura again on Sons of Sylvia: "These guys were good on The Next Great American Band; a lot of their interesting edges are missing here." I did learn that they used to be called The Clark Family Experience, and yes they are really a family named Clark.