Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.
Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.

Arrow debuts a Count who doesn't count things on a night positively crammed with new TV

Image for article titled Arrow debuts a Count who doesn't count things on a night positively crammed with new TV

Here’s what’s up in the world of TV for Wednesday, April 3. All times are Eastern.


Arrow (The CW, 8 p.m.): There’s a character named “The Count” on this show now, and he somehow doesn’t spend all of his time counting things and going, “Ah, ah, ah!” At the very least, he should always be surrounded with a swarm of bats, fluttering and flittering about. Sadly, he’s probably just some dude who calls himself “The Count,” but we’re willing to bet Oliver Queen will know how best to deal with his villainy (or heroism): with an arrow to the face. Alasdair Wilkins is down with arrows in lots of faces.

The Middle (ABC, 8 p.m.): When the season finale of The Bachelor disappoints her, Frankie finds herself rather despondent. Will Harris doesn’t believe this is because she thinks said bachelor picked the wrong woman. Rather, he’s pretty sure she’s just sad that she’s become a shining symbol of corporate synergy.

Survivor (CBS, 8 p.m.): Looking for some of that sweet, sweet Walking Dead ad revenue, the castaways take turns eating brains. We have to assume they’re not eating each other’s brains, but if they are, we’ll have Carrie Raisler send up the “real-life zombies are on CBS!” signal we keep ready just in case.

Suburgatory (ABC, 8:30 p.m.): After spending most of the season after Modern Family, Suburgatory decamps for the comfort and warmth of its original timeslot. Brandon Nowalk is glad he won’t have to wait up longer to see his Chatswin pals but is less certain about tonight’s male body image storyline.

Modern Family (ABC, 9 p.m.): Phil and Claire have been watching How I Met Your Mother and taking notes, it would seem, since they’re being confronted with their older doppelgangers on a visit to the hospital. Donna Bowman is pretty sure she just saw this plot a week or two ago on her other gig.

Supernatural (The CW, 9 p.m.): In an episode called “Taxi Driver,” we’re hoping it’s just Jensen Ackles and Jared Padelecki driving around and doing their best DeNiro impressions, but it sounds like they’ll go on a quest and stuff. Phil Dyess-Nugent can’t do DeNiro, but he has a killer Jodie Foster impersonation.


The Americans (FX, 10 p.m.): After taking the week off, America’s favorite KGB operatives are immediately tossed into the middle of an operation where things go horribly, horribly wrong in a matter of moments. That sounds like every time Todd VanDerWerff and Genevieve Koski do anything!

Nashville (ABC, 10 p.m.): After last week’s dreary hour, it’s nice to have Rayna back on tour with Juliette. And this time, Rayna’s bringing her daughters along, then getting concerned Juliette’s a bad influence on them. Pish posh, says Todd VanDerWerff. We should all try to be more like Juliette Barnes.


Psych (USA, 10 p.m.): Guess what, everybody! Psych is going to the circus! Lifelong circus aficionado Kevin McFarland is really excited for this episode, and he hopes it concludes with a full act of James Roday smiling directly to the camera while clown after clown after clown piles out of a VW Beetle.

Southland (TNT, 10 p.m.): Chaos erupts on the streets when gangsters emerge for the funeral of a powerful drug dealer. Kevin McFarland thinks that all show’s episode descriptions should begin with the phrase, “Chaos erupts on the streets.” Just imagine the excitement this could add to Modern Family!


TV Roundtable (1 a.m.): The panel makes its way through an intentionally bad musical, as it looks at It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia’s “The Nightman Cometh,” then hopes you don’t realize that Donna Bowman already covered that episode when it first aired, in a blatant disregard of Roundtable rules!


Slings & Arrows (1 p.m.): Geoffrey and Henry are essentially at war at this point, which should make for a most excellent production of Macbeth. Todd VanDerWerff is at war with his own Macbeth star, George Wendt, so he’d thank you to not even mention their struggles in comments this week.

Rogue (DirecTV Audience Network, 9 p.m.): It’s a big night for new TV, starting with this Thandie Newton vehicle, the first original series developed explicitly for DirecTV, instead of being a series the service acquired from elsewhere. Sonia Saraiya hopes it lives up to the Newton projects of her dreams.


The Spies Of Warsaw (BBC America, 9 p.m.): If you’ve been longing for a little David Tennant in your life, here’s a brand new miniseries set during World War II and based on the Alan Furst novel of the same name. Cory Casciato could tell you what it’s about, but then he’d have to kill you. (It’s about spies.)

How To Live With Your Parents (For The Rest Of Your Life) (ABC, 9:30 p.m.): ABC tosses another show on the air that will inevitably hang on to just enough of its Modern Family lead-in that it will stick around for another season, then quietly disappear. Erik Adams will weep no tears for this show at that point.


Forever Young (TV Land, 10 p.m.): Here’s an idea for a reality show: A bunch of old guys (over 70, apparently) hang out with a bunch of young guys (under 30). Or, rather, they all have to live together. Scott Von Doviak just can’t believe that anything so crazy and unprecedented could make it onto TV!

Henry V (TCM, 8 p.m.): Our jaunt through Slings And Arrows has made us much more attuned to the wonders of the Bard, so here’s Laurence Olivier’s adaptation of one of his finest plays, produced at the height of World War II and mostly consisting of Olivier just fartin’ around. Blah, blah, St. Crispin’s Day.


Liberal Arts (TMC, 8 p.m.): Did you know Josh Radnor made (and starred in) another movie? (Did you know he made a first movie?) You probably didn’t, because it mostly came and went without a trace on the indie film circuit last year. We haven’t even seen it, but we like Elizabeth Olsen, so we’ll see.

MLB Baseball: Red Sox at Yankees/Giants at Dodgers (ESPN2, 7/10 p.m.): It doesn’t matter. The Red Sox and Yankees could be the two worst teams in all of baseball, and the media would still fawn over them. Chase that rivalry with the West Coast’s biggest spitting match for a solid six hours of baseball.


Justified (Tuesday): An absolutely terrific fourth season comes to a close with a quiet, muted hour that sees both Raylan and Boyd facing down personal and professional traumas with aplomb. Also, Art gets to say some funny things, and Wynn stops in for a bit. Noel Murray loves this goddamn show. Do you?