Bark beats bite: 7 video game boss themes better than the actual boss fights

Jenova, the second-to-last boss in Final Fantasy VII, is a dud—just a weird space monster that stands in the way of the real fight players are after. So Jenova’s theme song, composed by Final Fantasy mainstay Nobuo Uematsu, does all the heavy lifting. The cascading synth line and horns are vintage Uematsu, congealing into a chunk of alien prog rock that makes the game feel like a pulpy sci-fi party rather than the gothic romance it is so often remembered as. Jenova may be an alien freak warping the planet, but she’s not that imposing in battle. Like a giant, tentacled Koosh ball fitted with a female figurehead ripped from a ship designed by H.R. Giger, she’s not even that cool-looking. And getting through the fight’s as easy as staying healthy and spamming the Ultima spell until the beast crumbles. Still, it pays to not rush through the fight. Lingering on this Uematsu tune is well worth it after the dozens of hours it takes to reach this point. [AJA]

Nobody likes Seth. The final boss of Street Fighter IV, Seth obviously needed to pose a greater challenge than all the warriors who came before him, but the designers at Capcom went too far. Seth is smug. He laughs and gloats constantly in the midst of combat, and he can pull off impossible feats that seem outlandish even in the cartoony world of Street Fighter, where throwing fireballs and extending one’s limbs like Stretch Armstrong is standard practice. Seth is nothing more than a construct of artificial toughness to cap off the game. His theme music is just as preposterous, but in a sort-of-awesome way. The operatic strings stand toe-to-toe with breakbeat drums, creating a score that is both cinematic and industrial, celebratory in its destructive antagonism. Seth’s theme is just like the behemoth it accompanies, except the music isn’t a total dick. [DS]

Big Arm is the final boss of Sonic 3, and its music is appropriately climactic. A sludgy bass line and panicked synths create an atmosphere of anxiety and dread as Dr. Robotnik’s latest contraption zipped unpredictably around the screen. When Big Arm was brought back for the Nintendo 3DS version of Sonic Generations, the theme got a pulse-pounding update that heightened the tension of the battle even further. Unfortunately, the new Big Arm was no longer the final challenge, instead reduced to the second position in a lineup of six bosses. And the difficulty of the fight was lessened, too, thanks to overly telegraphed moves and Sonic’s newfound ability to crash into enemies like a homing missile. Players might never even hear the extent to which this track has been remixed since Sonic 3, since the 3DS incarnation of this once-formidable boss can now be trashed in just one minute. [PL]

The bosses are the weakest part of DuckTales. Exploring the levels, pogo-sticking around as an elderly grave-robbing waterfowl—that’s the good stuff. Bopping a mutant moon rat in the face to steal its cheese just doesn’t compare. The boss theme, a funky tune that plays over every stage-ending showdown, saves these encounters from tedium. The staccato chip-horn blasts in the bridge keep every fight spicy while also evoking the slick metal-funk of Capcom’s best NES-era games. The boss theme is also a break from the rest of the game’s tunes. While the famous soundtrack, particularly the minor-key classic moon-level theme, veers toward pop, the boss theme positively swings. [AJA]