Let’s start with the standard caveat that’s accompanied so much of our news coverage over the years: No one should attempt to kidnap Larry David, for any imaginable reason. Sure, maybe you’re hard up for cash, or looking to get famous, or maybe you’ve just got a Curb Your Enthusiasm spec script knocking about in your head. But that show’s not scripted anyway, so, hey, knock it off.
All that being said: It does sound like it might be, well, kind of easy to pull off. That’s per an interview David did with Stephen Colbert last night, in which he revealed that, on two separate occasions, he’s been unable to flag down a cab in New York, been approached by a fan with an offer of a ride, and then gamely hopped in a stranger’s car. We get that New York traffic makes high speed escapes unlikely, but still: That seems like a very easy way to kidnap a Seinfeld creator. (Not, we once again stress, that that’s a thing that you should do.)
Even without luring an HBO star to a second location, there’s still a lot of fresh new David intel leaking out onto the internet this week for anyone with any nefarious or otherwise reasons to collect it. Ahead of next week’s Curb Season 10 premiere, David also recently sat down for an interview with GQ, in which he mostly came off as exceedingly himself, except for the part where he let profiler Brett Martin wear his pants. (They were headed to a country club with a dress code, natch.)
Topics of conversation covered in the profile: Breakfast, urinal selection, and whether the TV version of David has ever done anything wrong in the 90 extant episodes of Curb. (David’s contention: No.) Also, at no point did Martin attempt to kidnap David, which he probably could have, but which no one, obviously, should.
Those hoping to abscond with Larry David—but don’t!—might also want to keep track of the political fortunes of Bernie Sanders; David issued a tongue-in-cheek plea for the left-wing candidate to drop out of the race during his Colbert appearance, for the purely selfish reason that he’s sick of flying to New York all the time to film Saturday Night Live.