Bobby Jindal Comes From A Distant Land, And, One Time, He Went To The Grocery Store With His Dad

Last night, Louisiana Governor Bobby Jindal unfortunately forgot the oversized picture book that he was going to read to the class.  But he did read a Teleprompter for the very first time—and we were all lucky enough to see it!

As you probably know by now, Jindal gave the Republican response to Obama's State Of The Union Address last night, and it was supremely awful. So awful even Fox News couldn't muster up any enthusiasm about it. You know your speech didn't go well when an exasperated exhalation from the permanently-exasperated Chris Matthews sums up the feelings of pretty much everyone watching.

It only got worse from there. Of course, maybe Jindal was thrown off by the pressure of speaking before a national audience—and one that wasn't sitting on carpet squares in a semi-circle. Also, he forgot to change into his cardigan as he walked out to the porch, a comforting sartorial shift for both himself and the viewer. Perhaps he would have performed better if the response were produced with a little more panache: maybe opening with a woman looking into her empty wallet and frowning, followed by a shot of a man in line at the grocery store struggling with a stack of coupons as Jindal's voiceover intones, "Economy got you down? Wondering where your bail-out is?"  before cutting to a shot of  Jindal sitting at his desk, "Well do I have a deal for you!  Hi! I'm Bobby Jindal, Governor of Louisiana…"

This speech, and the many subsequent comparisons of Jindal to Kenneth The Page, are a present wrapped in a big red bow and gingerly placed at Lorne Michaels' (webbed) feet. If SNL doesn't recruit Jack McBrayer for a "Bobby Jindal's Storytime" sketch on the show's next new episode, they're stupider than previously thought imaginable. After all, it's either that or more  Cougar Talk.