Bow Down Before The New Benjamin

The Federal Reserve has re-designed the $100 bill because, why not? The currency could use a little redecorating, no? We owe it to ourselves. Literally.
And America is definitely entering her opulent phase when it comes to her monetary notes, because the new $100 has got a lot going on: A big purple ribbon, a color-shifting liberty bell embedded in an inkwell for some reason, a giant golden feather, lots of little golden 100s everywhere, the ghost of Benjamin Franklin embedded in the fibers, crystalized tears of Native Americans instead of zeros, a special hidden "Property Of The Freemasons" watermark that only appears when you dip the bill into fresh calf's blood under a full moon then rub it with a slice of potato, etc. Overall, it looks a little nouveau.