The Simpsons - Season 30

“Crystal Blue-Haired Persuasion” left me feeling tired. Not because it’s a bad episode, necessarily—it’s above…

“Sometimes a persona it can—it just becomes a trap, you know?”

“How can you boo-ya this country’s decline?”

“We got the highest rating in TV history—a 0.6!”

“Oh, I hate defining moments.”

“Remember this if there’s ever a gender war!”

“Are you ready to turn this thing that you like into something that will consume every waking minute?”

First, a story.

“Like a mirror, you see everything but understand nothing.”

“An amiable guy who makes everyone suffer through his hellish process.”

“Must find place to avoid pop culture discussions . . .”

“It sucks a whole truckload of butts!”

“Nothing turns me on more than basic competence.”

“At any other time of the year, that man’s life would be worth more than a TV.”

It must be terrible to write for The Simpsons. I mean, it’s obviously great to be associated with what is still…

“You were born to recap TV at a fourth-grade level!”

I like being surprised. Maybe that’s because I’ve got a long and self-fulfilling tendency to expect the worst. Or…

How invested should we be in Moe’s happiness? Springfield’s worst barkeep and intermittent stalker creepo is…

“Road rage is actually home rage that I bring onto the highway.”

“This’ll be the last word I ever say—C-minus!”