Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.
Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.

CBS bought a Zoo, but it’s evil! (Or something!)

Illustration for article titled CBS bought a Zoo, but it’s evil! (Or something!)

Here’s what’s up in the world of TV for Tuesday, June 30. All times are Eastern.

Top pick

Zoo (CBS, 9 p.m.): This summer series adapts James Patterson and Michael Ledwidge’s novel, in which deadly animal attacks start happening worldwide, as though animals suddenly realized en masse what giant jerks we all are and decided to do something about it, finally. (Sorry to sound so pro-animal there, but we’ve got to cover our bases in case of animal insurrection. You understand.) Anyway, James Wolk—who we’re still going to refer to as Lone Star’s James Wolk, even though that’s a damn ridiculous thing to do—tries to solve the problem as the fantastically named Dr. Jackson Oz, a “renegade zoologist,” which, sure, why not, that’s totally a thing. Anyway, Joshua Alston has the pre-air review, though he wasn’t exactly impressed with this latest slice of summertime network silliness.


Also noted

Scream: The TV Series (MTV, 10 p.m.): Wes Craven is dusting off the old Scream machine one more time with this 10-episode series, which is more or less the same old Scream story you’ve come to expect, only now the small town is called Lakewood and viral videos are involved, because it’s 2015 and viral videos are kind of still a thing. (Shouldn’t we be onto, like, homicidal Vines or something? Maybe murderously aggressive Snapchatting?) Anyway, LaToya Ferguson will report in later tonight to start up some regular coverage.

Another Period (Comedy Central, 10:30 p.m.): The second episode finds Lillian wanting a divorce “when she hears they’re all the rage,” which … divorce? All the rage!? In the early 20th century!? We don’t know, but we’ve got the craziest suspicion this show might not be entirely historically accurate. We better have LaToya Ferguson check this out and report back.

Regular coverage

Inside Amy Schumer (Comedy Central, 10 p.m.)

What else is on?

Beat The Champions (Fox, 9 p.m.): The Summer of Gronk rolls on as Patriots tight end Rob Gronkowski—along with Olympic swimmer Missy Franklin and NBA legend Scottie Pippen—takes on ordinary citizens in competitions for cash money. To keep things interesting, the contestants get lots of assistance—though the more assistance they get, the less money they can win—and the athletes face increasingly ridiculous handicaps. For Gronk himself, we’re kind of picturing that time in Man Vs. Beast where Kobayashi took on a bear in a hot dog eating contest, and Kobayashi only stood a chance for as long as the bear was unaware he was actually supposed to eat the food in front of him. We don’t feel it’s even remotely necessary to point out that Gronk is the bear in this scenario.

1913: Seeds Of Conflict (PBS, 9 p.m.): This documentary swerves a bit from what you’d expect would be the subject matter, as the World War I focus implied by the year 1913 is actually just a backdrop for an examination of how increased Arab and Jewish nationalism fueled tensions in early 20th century Palestine.

The Haves And Have Nots (OWN, 9 p.m.): The Tyler Perry-created soap opera kicks off its fourth season, and we think it’s safe to say this show is not messing around: “An angry Veronica starts a fire that destroys the mansion and almost claims David’s life; and Benny, who’s searching for his sister’s child, plans to bail Quincy out of jail and also to see Veronica.” For the record, while we have nothing but respect for Veronica’s unmistakable passion, we have to question just how committed Benny is to searching for his sister’s child if he’s keeping such a full social calendar. He could learn a little something from Veronica’s fiery focus, is what we’re saying.


Watt’s World (Travel, 10 p.m.): Journalist Nick Watt travels the world examining the weirder side of our planet’s many cultures, starting with a trip to Albania that takes in “a George W. Bush statue, 160-proof plum liquor, a ‘sworn virgin,’ and a hip-hop prime minister.” Huh, Albania sounds fun. And by “sounds fun,” we mean “probably everything seems pretty fun after some of that 160-proof plum liquor, even off-putting stuff like hip-hop prime ministers and George W. Bush statues.” (Sworn virgins, on the other hand, represent a rather more complex, fascinating topic.)

EdTV (Flix, 8 p.m.): Has anyone yet tried to argue that this 1999 movie about a video store clerk whose life is recorded round the clock is somehow the earliest evidence of the McConnaissance? Because if not, hey, now there is a hot take waiting to be written.


Bad Boys (IFC, 8 p.m.): Because nothing says “independent film” than an early-period Michael Bay cop thriller. (And yes, we’re aware it’s beyond pointless to be persnickety about TV channels not airing programming that perfectly aligns with whatever their name technically is. We get it. This one just amused us, is all.)

FIFA Women’s World Cup: US vs. Germany (Fox, 7 p.m.): This semifinal matchup pits an American side that hasn’t given up a goal in four straight matches against a German team that has scored 20 goals in just five matches, making this about as perfect an illustration of the phrase “irresistible force meets immovable object” that we’ve seen. Should be fun! (Also, this is the only time your What’s On Tonight correspondent can claim to have actually competed against one of the athletes involved, as we went to the same school as midfielder Tobin Heath and once played against her in 8th grade gym soccer. Our recollection is that we didn’t make a complete ass of ourselves. Our recollection is probably a damn liar.)