As if we weren’t already blushing hard enough, the statement then goes from “Bold declaration at the Thanksgiving dinner table” to full on messianic worship, saying that, “Our foundational values of liberty, equality and the rule of law make us the last best hope on Earth.” (The statement doesn’t clarify when it comes to the topic of last best hope for what, which is probably for the best.) The statement then explains how CBS Evening News feels like it can fit into a relationship with its national paramour, who even it has to admit is kind of high maintenance: “We also believe in Franklin’s famous line about America as a republic—if we can keep it. We aim to do our part every night: One way to think about our show is as a daily conversation about exactly where we are as a country and where we are going.”
It feels telling that CBS News was careful to note that its new five basic values replace a 38-page handbook Evening News was previously running with, because that’s part of the overall tone of the shift: Less complexity, less thought, less expertise, and way more platitudes. (Dokoupil gave a statement yesterday in which he said the national news media had leaned too much on “academics and elites” in its coverage of various topics in recent years.) The other four principles basically boil down to enthusiastic presentations of similar “How many boots do we have to lick before you stop yelling at us?” ideals, including “We work for you,” “We report on the world as it is,” “We respect you,” and “We respect tradition, but we also believe in the future.” All of which, as far as we can tell, adds up to something like “less experts, more ‘both sides’ presentations of right-wing talking points, and we don’t mind if you watch us on our phones.” And if that’s not the exact definition of love and respect, what is?
[via Variety]
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