Let’s get right to it: George Clooney, two-time Oscar winner and a heartthrob of screens both large and small, uses a Flowbee to cut his hair. Cue the tape!
The Flowbee, the infomercial vacuum contraption designed to allow one to easily cut one’s own hair, has been hard to come by lately, what with the pandemic causing people to responsibly stay home and not get haircuts. But Clooney’s use of the device is not the result of some kind of rich famous white guy privilege, where he can get a Flowbee while we rabble must simply put a bowl on our heads and hope for the best. No, he’s been Flowbeeing for 25 years.
Imagine you’re an entertainment reporter for a storied CBS newsmagazine. You sit down in the picturesque backyard of a famous actor/director’s home, and let’s be real, it’s probably one of several backyards attached to that home, which is itself one of several Clooney homes. You sit on your socially distanced stool and ask George Clooney your carefully prepared questions, hoping for some nice colorful answers about Amal cutting George’s hair or something similar. And then George Clooney, who has been very, very famous for several decades, informs you that he uses a Flowbee. Just imagine that moment. That’s got to be like winning the lottery, right?
Not only does George Clooney use a Flowbee to cut his own hair, he’s also not some Flowbee-Johnny-come-lately. He’s been using that beast for a quarter-century. E.R. was on the air 25 years ago, and Clooney was on that show until 1999. That means this is Flowbee hair:
He’s a Dapper Dan Man and a Flowbee He.
That’s the story. George Clooney Flowbees. He has Flowbeed for years. God willing, he will Flowbee for many more. Seasons change, the world spins on its axis, and George Clooney’s hair stays Clooneyed, thanks to Flowbee.
Send Great Job, Internet tips to email@example.com