Disney, not content just to own the entire entertainment industry, now building planned communities

Future historians—proud graduates of their regional Mickey Mouse Center For Higher Learning—will look back at our era as the conclusion of the Before Mouse (BM) years. They will not understand why their ancestors watched film and TV outside of what’s released on Disney+. They will not comprehend how we told and heard stories that weren’t sanctioned by the Benevolent Overlords Of I.P. Management.

And they will mark the beginning of the BM calendar with the now-imminent creation of Disney residential communities, which are both a real thing and soon to appear in California.

As Deadline reports, Disney is now embarking on the business of owning your physical reality along with the rest of it by “building new master-planned communities called ‘Storyliving’” in order to, per a dystopian statement quoted in the article, respond to “more and more fans [looking] for new ways to make Disney a bigger part of their lives.”

The first of these Mouseholes—called Cotino—will be created in Rancho Mirage in Coachella Valley, California and will feature “a range of home types including estates, single family homes, and condos, including at least one area expressly for 55+ residents.” Grandma and grandpa will get to enjoy collecting ominous sunspots while lounging around “an approximately 24-acre ‘grand oasis featuring clear turquoise waters with Crystal Lagoons technology ….’”