Don’t say it, don’t think it: 10 villains who must not be named

Let's look at Candyman and other evil beings that can be summoned merely by calling them out

By Gwen Ihnat, Alex McLevy, William Hughes, Matt Schimkowitz, A.A. Dowd  |  August 31, 2021 | 5:00am
Film Features Gwen Ihnat
Don’t say it, don’t think it: 10 villains who must not be named
From left: Voldemort in Harry Potter And The Deathly Hallows, Part 2; Beetlejuice; Candyman (Screenshots) Graphic: Natalie Peeples

The new reboot of Candyman just conquered the weekend box office, making director Nia DaCosta the first Black female filmmaker to open a movie at No. 1, with over $22 million in domestic theaters in a weekend that saw a hurricane, wildfires, and another COVID surge. Maybe some moviegoers are sick of summer and eager to enter Halloween season, unable to resist the legendary tale of the killer who comes when called five times. It got us to thinking about other villains with powerful monikers. Superman’s Mr. Mxyzptlk, for example, can only be banished when he’s tricked into saying his own name backwards, while fairy tale imp Rumplestiltskin’s strength lies in the fact that no one knows his name—his power is only neutralized when you discover it. But if you really want to conjure up an evil demon, below is a list of 10 monsters (including Candyman) that will show up when you call them. Sometimes even when you just think about them. Whoops, too late.

Candyman

Still the alpha and omega of terrifying monsters summoned by voicing their sobriquet out loud, Candyman might also have the most stringent requirements for appearing: You need to say his name five times in front of a mirror before the nightmarish specter shows up. According to legend, Candyman was the son of a slave, born in the late 1800s, who grew up to be a much sought-after artist, until he was killed by a mob following a love affair with the white daughter of a prominent family. Now he haunts the land on which he was murdered—previously the site of Chicago’s Cabrini-Green housing project, though it has long since been demolished, as noted in . Unfortunately, there’s no simple way to defeat him; our condolences to anyone foolish enough to say the name of the hook-wielding, bee-controlling killer. [Alex McLevy]

Beetlejuice/Betelgeuse

The Ghost With The Most follows few rules, but this one is apparently sacrosanct: If you want to party with the netherworld’s primo freelance bio-exorcist, you’ve got to say his name three times. (And yes, despite the helpful charades clues Michael Keaton whips up, and the actual title of Tim Burton’s 1988 film, the name in question is actually Betelgeuse, not Beetlejuice.) Luckily—given the character’s clear and lecherous interest in violating necrophilia and age of consent laws—another triple-naming is sufficient to banish him to the bureaucratic hell from whence he sprang, the better to get back to enjoying your supernaturally catchy Harry Belafonte tunes. [William Hughes]

Voldemort (The Harry Potter series)

One of the main things that clues everyone at Hogwarts to the fact that Harry Potter is the Boy Who Lived is his casual ease in naming The One Who Should Not Be Named, Voldemort. The former Tom Riddle chose his new title, which only became increasingly notorious as the tales of Voldemort’s horrific crimes—including thievery, torture, and many, many murders in his quest to achieve immortality—spread throughout the wizarding world. Consequently, the leader of the Death-Eaters—and Harry’s arch-nemesis, as the man who murdered his parents—is considered so powerful that just mentioning that evil name is asking for trouble, and could help lure him back from exile. But over the course of J.K. Rowling’s extensive series, Harry is able to survive more than a few encounters with Voldemort; ultimately, the power of the Dark One’s name begins to diminish as the boy’s strength grows. [Gwen Ihnat]

The Bye Bye Man

Getting gutted by Candyman is what you might call a highly avoidable misfortune: Most of those who meet their end by his hook pretty much ask for it, making the unwise choice to say his name in the mirror five times. Who but themselves do these dummies have to blame? Save your sympathy for the victims of The Bye Bye Man, the title supernatural menace of Stacy Title’s laughably unscary . First off, it takes not five, not three, but just one utterance of this phantom’s name to conjure him. Secondly, saying it anywhere will do the trick; a reflective surface need not be involved. Lastly—and this is really how the guy gets you, the bullshit fine print of his murder business—even just thinking his name will put you in the crosshairs. How the hell is anyone supposed to not think about a name they’ve heard? Especially one as silly as The Bye Bye Man? A little willpower and healthy caution will keep you out of Candyman’s reach. Nothing short of amnesia can save you from his kindred spirit in narcissistic bogeymaning. [A.A. Dowd]

Bloody Mary
Bloody Mary
Screenshot Bloody Mary (2021)

The details involved in conjuring up Bloody Mary have varied a lot over the years, but here’s the gist of it: Repeat the name in front of a mirror in a darkened or candle-lit room, and the ghost will appear. Originally, the lore was that you’d see the face of your future husband—or, if you’re destined to die before marrying, the skulled visage of the Grim Reaper. Sometimes Bloody Mary was reputed to be friendly; sometimes, not so much. How many times the name must be said is up for debate, but consensus holds that the experience is generally scary as hell. It’s been committed to celluloid a few times (including in a Kate Mara-starring , and an upcoming 2021 film), but in the misbegotten 2006 movie based on the folklore spirit, Bloody Mary goes after not just the person who summoned her but anyone in the vicinity. If you think that sounds like a nonsensical bastardization of legend you’re not wrong. [Alex McLevy]

Candle Jack (Freakazoid)

Making his first appearance in an episode of the WB cartoon Freakazoid, Candle Jack operates under Bloody Mary or Candyman law: Say his name aloud and get whisked away by the bogeyman, the “for real one.” But Candle Jack does more than play by the rules; he parodies them. At a children’s summer camp, the campers can’t help but repeat Candle Jack’s name over and over, to the point where he’s surprised by how often he has to collect another soul. His scenes are both funny and pretty creepy, as he leads a line of children tethered together by a thin piece of twine floating several feet off the ground. The episode left such a lasting impression that there’s a whole . [Matt Schimkowitz]

The Spanish Inquisition (Monty Python)

Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition! Though maybe they should, as it reliably appears any time someone in Monty Python’s famous series of sketches says “I didn’t expect a Spanish Inquisition.” Utter those magic words, and Michael Palin, Terry Jones, and Terry Gilliam will appear out of thin air to annoy and frustrate the other actors in the sketch with their flubbed line readings and misinterpretation of torture instruments. Monty Python might be the most celebrated sketch comedy team of all time, and this is arguably their most beloved routine. People that have never even seen the sketch quote the thing. Clearly, the phrase has power. [Matt Schimkowitz]

Mr. Scratch (The Devil And Daniel Webster)

Speak of the devil and he doth appear is one of the oldest rules in the book. Still, this one is a slight stretch, as bringing forth the Dark Lord doesn’t require saying his name so much as making him an offer. Stephen Vincent Benét short story “The Devil And Daniel Webster” introduced the premise in 1936. Five years later, a Hollywood adaptation finds poor, foolish Jabez “Consarn It” Stone (James Craig) on a bad luck streak when he yells, “That’s enough to make a man sell his soul to the Devil, and I would for for about two cents.” Enter Mr. Scratch (Walter Huston), the fiendishly jovial lil’ stinker who makes all of Stone’s dreams come true… for a price. Huston practically licks his lips at the sight of Stone, jotting down notes for how to best trick the poor farmer into giving up his soul. His performance is captivating enough to temp a viewer into saying his name, in hopes of getting a little more of Mr. Scratch. [Matt Schimkowitz]

 
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