Doritos is selling chips with the Guardians Of The Galaxy 2 soundtrack installed on the bag

By William Hughes | April 26, 2017 | 4:08am

Aux Features Film

How many times have you been shame-gorging on Doritos, fingers slick with the blue or orange flavor dust of your choice, and suddenly thought, “It sucks that this chip bag isn’t playing music for me right now”? If the answer to that question is “once, or more than once, across your entire lifetime,” then you’re in luck, because Frito-Lay has announced that it’s making bags of its unpleasantly addictive flavor shards that fill exactly that extremely targeted niche. Specifically, the company’s new Guardians Of The Galaxy Vol. 2-branded bags will come equipped with a music player stuck directly to the front of the plastic, in the shape of an old-school cassette player, and loaded with the film’s soundtrack.

Luckily for the grocery store clerks of the planet—who’d presumably be driven to madness by the sound of Parliament’s “Flashlight” playing on 50 different bags of chips, all staggered from one another, at the same time for hours straight—the Guardians bags will only be available via Amazon. They’ll go on sale this Friday, April 28. And don’t worry: the bags are rechargeable, ensuring that the novelty of this new chip-based music delivery system will wear out long before its charge does.