Lord Varys, Game Of Thrones’ chrome-domed “Master Of Whisperers,” went out like a fucking chump. After years of watching the character outmaneuver everyone with his mysterious plots and sneaky schemes, his storyline, like that of just about every character in the show, fizzled out in the most disappointing way possible.
Or so we thought until today, when it was revealed that The Spider himself had one more posthumous plan up his sleeve that shows off his incredible, cunning forethought: Planting an extremely out-of-place Starbucks cup in one of the show’s scenes to make the whole production look a bit stupid.
This revelation came courtesy of Emilia Clarke (Thrones’ Daenerys Targaryen) during an interview on last night’s The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon. Clarke, refusing to take the blame for the cup placed in front of her character in the shot, decides to pass responsibility onto Conleth Hill, the actor who played Varys on the show.
She describes a pre-Emmy party in which Hill pulled her aside to admit that the coffee cup belonged to him. “He said so!” Clarke continues, adding that he passed the blame onto her because everyone already assumed it was her fault. “I think that’s who did it,” she says, leaving some room open for doubt. “I mean, he said it. He might’ve been drunk, but he said it.”
It’s the ultimate form of revenge, really, leaving some garbage in a shot as subtle revenge for an anticlimactic death. And it makes us wonder what could’ve been had anyone thwarted the plan. If only Varys’ nefarious plot had been stopped in time, Game Of Thrones final season would’ve, we all know, been absolutely perfect, its unbelievable drop in quality averted by the cursed cup that somehow managed to spike the series’ writing and direction, leaving its legacy as a formerly excellent TV show a smoldering ruin.
Send Great Job, Internet tips to firstname.lastname@example.org