Let me tell you something about us food scribes: Never underestimate the shit we’ll stuff in our mouths. We’re serving a number of gods here—our bosses, our curiosity and sense of adventure, Google Analytics, our Instagram feed, etc. I once ate at a restaurant in Beijing that only served a variety of animal penises (with Los Angeles Times/ESPN’s Bill Plaschke, no less), and I certainly didn’t do it because I was craving boiled dick.
There is an element of public service behind these “Will they eat this”-type of stories. Take The Seattle Times, which this week investigated a curious delicacy: a peanut butter and raw onion sandwich. Apparently it has its fans in the Pacific Northwest, where the town of Walla Walla, Washington, is famous for growing onions “so sweet you can eat it like an apple.”
She reports the first bite was palatable, with the peanut butter tempering the onion’s peppery bite. But after several chews, the raw onion simply bulldozed over her palate:
But the aftertaste, as any sane person might expect, was a hot, unenjoyable, raw-onion burn, accompanied by an unpleasant heightened awareness of one’s sinuses.
Just think of all we food writers put ourselves through for you, dear reader. Geez, a thank-you card would be nice once in a while.