Further Adventures In Press Releases

(NASHVILLE, Tenn.) Self reliance may be a time honored virtue, but music superstar Toby Keith has taken the concept to a higher level with his second album release on Show Dog Nashville.

BIG DOG DADDY, Keith's next full length studio project, is due at retailers nationwide on Tuesday, June 12, 2007. As is his custom, Keith served as principal songwriter for the project, which will come out on the independent label he formed in late 2005.

Hold the phone: so music superstar Toby Keith is the principal songwriter on his own album? That is worthy of a press release. And that's his usual custom? All this time I figured Keith must have had help to deliver such beautiful, stately, succinct lyrics as "We'll put a boot in your ass/It's the American way." But as it turns out, those words, and hundreds more of their caliber, were thoughtfully penned by Keith himself. I can almost picture him hunched over a yellow legal pad, pencil in hand, scribbling furiously–just trying to get the intricate lyrics to "Who's Your Daddy?" from head to page as quickly as possible. But how else is he taking self-reliance to a higher level?

Not content with being his own record label president, A&R; chief, song source and vocalist, Keith took things a step further. For the first time in his career, Toby is the sole producer on one of his albums. He even took on a lot of the vocals – lead and background – on the album including all of the vocals on the debut single, "High Maintenance Woman."

You mean to tell me that Toby Keith sings? On his own album? I've heard of musicians playing guitar on their own albums, and being their own "song sources," and even producing their own songs. But I have never heard of a singer singing vocals on their own single. That's historic. I'm not sure, but I think that may qualify him for induction into the Country Music Hall Of Fame (provided that one exists).

Fans hungry for a preview of the new music will get a taste with the Feb. 12 release of BIG DOG DADDY's debut single, "High Maintenance Woman." Response to the song at country radio has been overwhelming with a huge number of stations adding the track immediately and not waiting for the official add date…

Since the turn of the century Keith's songs have spent a full year at No. 1 on the singles charts, he has sold 30 million CDs, and he's one of the most awarded artists in any genre as a singer, songwriter and entertainer.

Wow. "Since the turn of the century," huh? It's hard to believe that one man, and all of his miscellanous, unnamed songs, could hold such a powerful sway over the music industry since the year 2000. That's seven whole years! If your stomach is rumbling for a taste of "High Maintenance Woman," or if you're simply curious to hear what a honky-tonk version of "Uptown Girl" would sound like, you can go here. (But beware, you may find yourself so disoriented by the many stars, cowboy hats, and goateed scowls that you may accidentally buy a "hookin' up and hangin' out" mouse pad). Here are some sample lyrics (that Keith totally sings all of!):

I ain't hooked it up yet/ But I'm tryin' hard as I can/ It's just a high maintenance woman/ Don't want no maintenance man

Notice how he's playing with language there. See, he's a janitor (or "maintenance man") at an apartment complex, and the resident he's stalking is a fancy (or "high-maintenance") woman. But the wordplay doesn't stop there:

I'm just sittin' 'round waitin' on a telephone call/ After water pipe exploded in the living room wall/ If your washer and dryer in need of repair/ You know the handyman's waitin'/ And he'll be right there/ Twenty-four hours, Seven days a week/ If it's gettin' clogged up or maybe startin' to leak/ Just ring up my number, baby, give me a try/ You know I got all the tools/ And I can satisfy

Janitorial work makes for the most disgusting (and most confusing) innuendo. What, exactly, does he mean by her "washer and dryer"? The only way this could have been worse is if Keith had somehow incorporated the phrase "pour Drano down your sink" into a verse about their wedding night.