Georgia hero Stacey Abrams tells Stephen Colbert about her plans to topple Mitch McConnell next
After a week-long stress marathon that seemingly, blessedly ended with the joyously incontrovertible fact that Joe Biden is going to be the next President of the United States (and Donald Trump 100 percent isn’t), Monday afternoon came along to remind us how we can’t have nice things. Oh, Biden’s still going to be President, what with a 5 million popular vote margin and a projected electoral college tally exactly equal to what Donny himself trumpeted as a “landslide” in 2016. (Except that then he only lost the popular vote by 3 million.) But Republican ratfuckers gonna Republican rat-fuck, with Trump sycophants—when not propping up registered sex offender GOP operatives as star witnesses to nonexistent voter fraud next to a dildo emporium—setting off a series of lawsuits designed to . . . something. Stop vote counts. Recount votes, Restart votes. Invalidate military ballots. Basically everything that screams, “Mine! Mine! Mine! Gimmee!!”
But we’re not here to talk about all that—their spurious bullshit is doomed legally (Trump’s team is exactly 0-for-all the numbers so far), whereas various, sweaty state attempts to bully election officials have run up against contemptuous looks (from often Republican public servants). There’s that pesky worry about Trump having fired one Secretary of Defense in favor of one apparently less squeamish about using federal troops against protesters, but, hey, we’ll cross that constitutional crisis when it sticks a baton in our collective face. As Colbert noted when talking to risen Democratic all-star, former Georgia gubernatorial candidate, and person who will brook no GOP nonsense, Stacey Abrams, it’s tough amidst all this yammering bullshit to relish the fact that we actually won.