Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.
Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.

Hall and Oates sue the makers of “Haulin’ Oats” cereal

Illustration for article titled Hall and Oates sue the makers of “Haulin’ Oats” cereal

It’s a dark time for fans of pun-based breakfast granolas, as the BBC reports that musicians Daryl Hall and John Oates are suing Early Bird Foods & Co, the makers of “Haulin’ Oats” brand cereal. It seems that the musicians are unhappy that the company is daring to mildly amuse literally tens of people with its “phonetic play on Daryl Hall and John Oates’ well-known brand name.” Lawyers for the two agreeably inoffensive rockers filed suit in a Brooklyn federal court this week.


The offending brand of health-conscious breakfast food is identified as a nut-free cereal (mistake number one, Haulin’ Oats) made from maple syrup and oats. The company describes it as “back-to-basics flavor… perfect by itself or as the base for a breakfast parfait creation,” perhaps as the added ingredient in your signature “Sounds Like Vanilla” smoothie. There is no official response from Early Bird Foods & Co as of yet, but presumably the company is busily thinking up alternative names for their granola that better evoke the taste of maple syrup and oats, like “Maple Syrup n’ Oats.”

This is just the latest in a long line of pun-related court cases which have so exhausted Daryl and John over the years, to the point where they can barely muster up any enthusiasm for their own last names (especially Oates, who has “less enthusiasm than Hall” emblazoned on his family crest.) The lawsuit notes that this is merely the most recent of numerous efforts “to make a connection between the artists’ names and oats-related products.” Behind closed doors, the musicians’ lawyers have privately recommended that the two men simply switch to using their first names from here on out, because the “Halal And Oats” court case was really too much, and frankly the legal team would enjoy the novelty of suing over the subsequent first name puns. Law clerks are already preparing the relevant documents to file suit against the “Barrelin’ John” rolling Port-a-Potty company.