In the absence of anything like a reasonable government response following the tragedy of the Parkland shooting, Americans have scrambled to take matters into their own hands. In some cases, like the teenage survivors agitating for reform, we see a glimmer of hope for actual change. In others, of course, we have far less helpful suggestions for how to move forward.
The most frightening suggestion is that teachers, who we guess have to squeeze in tactical exercises between early childhood education classes during college training, should be armed. This dystopian vision, unfounded as it is by boring old “scientific study,” has a lot of eager supporters.
Take, for example, Twitter’s Doofus Of The Week, a user with the no-nonsense handle “ProudAmericanSoldier” who took to social media in full military cosplay to assert that he would “PLEDGE TO WORK FOR FREE for any school to help secure the children [sic].”
The man’s tweet, serving as a perfectly ridiculous encapsulation of the absolutely fucking nightmarish prospect of a fully militarized school system, has garnered a big response from all corners of the internet.
Some, of course, simply want to zoom in on the mental image of a middle-aged man dressing up in full combat gear at home.