"If I get corona, I get corona": Meet the spring-breaking teens who will destroy us all
Books, television, and film have had a wide range of pandemic and/or zombie outbreak depictions over the years—some eerily accurate, others not so much. But even taking all these into consideration, we can’t really think of any that properly account for the sheer number of dumbasses around us at any given moment. You always see people with the worst possible weapons to fend off a horde of walkers, but never the guy in an oversized tank top wearing a beer-chug helmet slurring away about how the zombie outbreak can’t be that big a deal because he and his posse still haven’t seen one.
It’s with all this in mind that we share the following dispatch from Global News, which serves to remind us how selfish, myopic doofuses will almost certainly be the death of us all. Yes, it’s time to meet the souls orchestrating our species’ demise because they refuse to let a pandemic ruin their spring break. Our sincerest apologies in advance.
Look, it’s probably just a coincidence that one can hear Sean Kingston crooning “You’ve got me suicidal” from Miami restaurant speakers at the outset of the video, but goddamn this showcasing of selfish, hormone-driven privilege makes a good case for self-quarantining for as long as the experts advise.