Ice T is a true Renaissance Man. Throughout his storied career, he’s worked as a musician, actor, podcaster, author, and bagel-focused food critic. Somehow, despite juggling so many different occupations, he’s also managed to maintain one of the world’s best Twitter accounts for more than a decade. Full of no-nonsense wisdom, inspirational messages, and a merciless refusal to abide “dumbfucks” or “clownass MFs,” Ice is a shining beacon amidst the bleak mess of social media.
Now, in an expression of pan-cultural solidarity, he would also like you to know that he “stands” with just about every group of people under the sun. After being sent a statement from Twitter.com’s very own @CumPillowGaming that “Gamers stand” with Ice-T, the man himself responded with the well-known fact that he stands with them, too.
Wondering who else he supports, others chimed in about various subcultures and identities to hear Ice’s opinion. We soon learned that, yes, Body Count’s own Ice-T stands with the punks, metalheads, Juggalos, goths, and surfers.
Curious whether his support is tempered by national boundaries, he was soon asked for opinions about citizens of countries like Mexico, Canada, and Ireland.
Notably, Ice-T stands strong with Albanians, too, especially since one of his “very best friends ‘Johnny Blaze’ is Albanian!”
Interested to find whether Ice won’t stand with anybody, the questions did eventually uncover the fact that, sadly, he isn’t necessarily on board with journalists.
Otherwise, though, a few simple rules hold true: As long as you like Ice-T and you’re not a dumbfuck, you’re in his good books.
If you’d like to quibble with him about this fairly basic criteria after reading all of this, please don’t. As supportive as Ice-T may be, it’s important to remember one last group of people he doesn’t stand with: Anyone who dares to start shit with him on Twitter.
Send Great Job, Internet tips to gji@theonion.com