John Cena wore a “flesh-colored pocket” during the streaker gag at The Oscars… want to see it?

John Cena wasn't really naked during one of The Oscars' funniest moments, unfortunately

By Sam Barsanti | March 12, 2024 | 12:57am

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John Cena wore a “flesh-colored pocket” during the streaker gag at The Oscars… want to see it?

John Cena Photo: Al Seib/A.M.P.A.S. via Getty Images

One of the best parts of last night’s Oscars telecast was John Cena’s jokingly reluctant participation in a gag that called back to a classic Oscars moment when the show was interrupted by a streaker in the ‘70s. After failing to dissuade host Jimmy Kimmel from making him follow through on the gag, Cena—wearing nothing but sandals—carefully scooted out onto the stage and made the long walk to the microphone with the winner’s envelope covering his, you know, area. Of course, he wasn’t really naked, but how did the Oscars pull off that little bit of onstage magic?

Why, with a “flesh-colored pocket sans straps that covered his front and back areas,” of course! That’s how The Hollywood Reporter described the garment (to the extent that it even counts as a garment), saying its one of two types of modesty-protection devices that are popular with on-set intimacy coordinators these days. Cena’s was “like a strapless thong that is attached with a little bit of adhesive in the front and the back,” as opposed to the other one that “resembles a coin purse or drawstring bag.” Masculine fashion is fascinating, isn’t it? All these little pouches and sheathes to hide everyone’s dingles and dongles.

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Variety has a piece today about behind-the-scenes stories from last night, including some details about the show’s producers concerns about the streaker gag—including worries about “not just a fine from the FCC, but potential complaints.” So, to make sure nothing was left loose and flopping around, the producers carefully worked with ABC to determine what, exactly, they could get away with. They were told that they could not show “bulge” or “crack,” so in order to avoid that, Cena’s was fully covered from behind and the envelope with the winner’s name was attached to the aforementioned flesh-colored pocket with Velcro.

But enough of this tip-toeing (more like tip-toeing, right?) around the dinkus and the donkus, we all want to see the thing! Show us the thing!

This is, admittedly, probably the worst view, but it’s the only one we’ve got. It looks like he injured his whole butt and is wearing a complicated bandage, or he sat on a sticky piece of paper, or his muscled legs burst through a regular pair of underwear as he transformed from Billy Batson or Prince Adam into the mighty John Cena.

The Hollywood Reporter also spoke to the co-founder of Covvier, a company that makes garments like this for filming sex scenes, and while they didn’t personally make Cena’s flesh-colored pocket, their particular brand of flesh-colored pockets are proving so popular that they’re selling out. So, for anyone out there who doesn’t want their stuff bouncing in everybody’s face, you better pick up a pocket in your preferred flesh-color ASAP.