As you can see, it’s Stallone in a cowboy hat, a cowboy shirt, some cowboy pants, and some rugged worker gloves. The implication is that John Rambo is some kind of cowboy now, possibly on a ranch near the Mexican border. It seems like the sort of simple, quiet life that John Rambo would be attracted to in 2018, and it gives him an easy lead-in to slaughtering dudes in a cartel with a big machine gun. On the other hand, the way he’s putting on his glove looks very staged, like he’s just about to do some real yard work on his big Texas ranch. It’s a phony pose we’ve seen countless times in Republican campaign ads, and it looks like he’s just a few seconds away from saying “Hey, uh, I’m Sylvester Stallone and I, uh, approve this message.”
This next one specifically says it’s for Rambo 5, and while it looks less fake, it still looks like it should be in a commercial immediately after a shot of the U.S. Capitol Building surrounded by ominous, dark clouds. Maybe it should be paired with a pleasant, neutral voice talking about John Rambo’s merits as a Washington outsider?
See, unlike career politicians, John Rambo isn’t in the pocket of lobbyists or special interest groups. He’s a veteran who was left with deep psychological damage because of the things he did in the name of the United States, and he now loves the United States a whole lot more than his opponent, Brian Dennehy, who has never slaughtered legions of foreign people with a machine gun. This November, Vote Rambo.
