July 30, 2008
I'm
a male sub looking for porn videos catering to a femme dom audience. I'm not
talking about porn directed by men for submissive men, but porn targeting the
appetites of the dominatrix. I'm NOT looking for softcore bondage pictures of
men, or any other gay porn. I am looking for hetero femme dom porn videos aimed
at women, with well-groomed male slaves. I'm not looking for yet another video
of penis torture and/or anal rape, where the female "dom" inevitably gives her
slave a blowjob. Femme dom porn with vampire and werewolf themes would be
perfect. Any suggestions?
Seeking
Hot Erotica Beloved Of Superior Sex
Porn
created for dominant women featuring well-groomed male slaves with vampire and
werewolf themes—why, I've got some of that right here in my ass, SHEBOSS,
just give me a sec and I'll pull it out for you.
Look,
ladies and gentleman, there's a lot of porn out there. If you've made a
good-faith effort to find porn that caters to your special needs without much
luck, well, then odds are good that the porn you're looking for simply doesn't
exist. And folks? The more
ridiculous, obscure, or specific your requirements—mere femme dom porn
won't do for SHEBOSS, who requires femme dom vampire/werewolf porn with no CBT,
pegging, or poorly groomed slaves—the harder time you're going to have
finding porn. (Really, SHEBOSS, you can't fast-forward past those blowjobs?)
But
don't despair, SHEBOSS, there is a little porn out there for you. As kinky
blogger CatWoman notes, the best femme dom porn is produced by advertising
agencies, not porn companies. Dig around the archives of CatWoman's blog
(earthacatslair.blogspot.com), SHEBOSS, and you'll find plenty of examples of
clean-cut boys serving dominant women in print and television ads created to
sell shoes, clothes, cars, etc. to women—no pegging, no CBT, no blowjobs,
no unkempt slave boys. No vampires or werewolves either, sadly, but a boy can't
have everything.
Oh,
and a note to gay dudes into visual depictions of well-groomed gay male slaves
(and all those straight women and lesbians out there who like gay porn, too):
Kink.com's new gay site—its first—goes live August 1. BoundGods.com
was created for Kink.com by Van Darkholme: porn star, bondage artist, author,
and occasional Savage Love guest
expert. Check it out.
First, the formalities: I adore your
column, I've been reading it since I was a single fundamentalist far-right wack
job, and I read it now that I'm a married far-left feminist with kids.
Secondly, the problem: I'm married (not
the problem) to a wonderful, funny, hardworking, sensitive-yet-manly dude, and
the mother to two little ones (one just out of diapers, one newborn). Breaking
the problem into two parts…
Part one: Oral sex—hate to give
it, hate to receive it. I tried, bravely, but invariably ended up vomiting,
which, as my husband points out, is not sexy unless you're into that sort of
thing. Husband has done without oral for five years. Please don't hit me. He
states this is not a problem.
Part two: Since going on medication for
postpartum depression, I now have negative interest in sex. The very thought
makes me want to run shrieking naked down the street, which isn't sexy, unless,
again, you're into that sort of thing. I feel relentless guilt, and have tried
to work up a state of interest for my poor, deprived, wonderful husband, but I
can't even achieve neutrality.
I don't know what to do. It took
multiple medication adjustments to find something that left me able to function
as a mother and a human being (minus, you know, the sex thing), so the thought
of messing with my meds terrifies me. So should my husband dump the
motherfucker (me!) already? (Please say no!) And please remember when you
answer that I really, really, really love you, in a non-perverse sort of way, and
if you're harsh, I'll be crushed.
New
England Girl Doesn't
Breaking my answer into three parts…
One: If going without oral isn't a problem
for your husband, it's not a problem—not for you, NEGD, and certainly not
for me.
Two: Perhaps you should talk to your doctor
about the little blue pill. A study published last week showed that Viagra,
which doesn't have much effect on women generally, improves sexual response in
measurable ways for women taking antidepressants. The study just came out, blah
blah blah, more research needs to be done, wocka wocka wocka, but it's
certainly worth looking into.
Three: You have small children, postpartum
depression, and you're on meds. Cut yourself some slack. New fathers have
suffered worse indignities than a year or two of shitty or nonexistent sex
while their wives adjust and recover. You should, however, encourage your
husband to masturbate frequently, masturbate him yourself occasionally, and, if
you can go there, allow him to discreetly seek relief in one of New England's
finer jack shacks until you wean yourself off the meds.
There's
only one way to make amends for your canned-ham crack, Dan. To balance the
scales for the canned-ham slight, open up a contest finding the least sexy
description of a penis. Fair's fair.
Jeff
If
there's a less sexy description for penis than the word "penis," Jeff, I can't
think of it. The words vagina, labia, and clitoris—with their wide-open
vowels and consonant combinations that force you to roll the words around in
your mouth—are poetry compared to "penis" with its pinched,
urine-invoking first syllable and its hissed second. Again, I very much doubt
that anyone can come up with something less sexy. But anyone inspired to try is
welcome to cram one in my inbox.
I know you don't like the praise
e-mails, but you're just going to have to bend over and take this one.
This weekend, I had sex after a long
relationship, a breakup, and a full year with no dick. And the sex was
TERRIBLE. He wasn't at all willing to do the things I needed him to do for me,
even though I was very kind and playful and upbeat about all the great ways
there were to please me. No, he was just in a major hurry to cram his dick in
me and then go to sleep.
I gave him another chance this weekend,
Dan, and I got the same treatment. So I got my ass out of his bed and caught a
cab home. As I stood there in the rain at 4:00 a.m. on a Chicago street corner,
with wet hair and shoes and panties, I thought about you, Dan, and how if I'd
never started listening to your podcast and reading your column, I'd be one of
those girls who this guy has no doubt dated in the past, a girl who just lies
there and pretends to get off on his dick alone, never says a word about her
needs, and just accepts bad sex as a given.
I dumped the motherfucker already, Dan,
so I'm single, 26, GGG, and ready to take on this city's male population.
Thanks for schooling me on how to detect the assholes, and how to be vocal
about my own needs!
J.
We
bend and take to please, J. Thanks for sharing.
Download
the Savage Lovecast (my
weekly podcast) every Tuesday at thestranger.com/savage.
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problems? [email protected]