We do not need to know nearly as much about actors as we do. We only need to see them employ their craft, showing up on screen to pretend to cry like ordinary people, pretend to laugh like ordinary people, or pretend to get into thrilling high speed car chases like ordinary people.
Still, despite this, Keanu Reeves appeared on The Late Show With Stephen Colbert in order to provide far more information about himself than anybody but those closest to him should ever need to know.
After introducing his “Colbert Questionert” segment, Reeves submits himself to a process that Colbert says is meant to make it so “the guest is known fully” to those hearing the answers.
“Are you ready to be known, Keanu Reeves?” Colbert asks.
“Absolutely not,” Reeves replies, and the game begins.
When asked to name the “best sandwich,” Reeves says that he would pick toast with crunchy peanut butter and honey. As the rest of the questions come in, we learn that Reeves thinks spiders are the scariest animal, prefers apples to oranges, windows to aisle seats, dogs to cats, and thinks Rollerball is the best action movie. “Violence, a game, and philosophy, social commentary ... fantastic,” he says.
He also remembers that he once asked Lou Reed for his autograph on behalf of a friend, that Reed was “cool about it,” and that he also once asked George Carlin for his and received a message that read, simply: “Dear Keanu, fuck you.” (Which apparently was how Carlin often signed autographs.) The interview goes on, providing more and more insight into mind of a man whose face is so familiar but whose personality we may never truly know.
And there you have it. Now, thanks to The Late Show, you can bust out Keanu factoids in all kinds of situations, making your loved ones wonder what, exactly, is wrong with you when you go to order sandwiches or take a plane seat before telling them about how Keanu Reeves would do the same thing.
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