And though it’s all played for laughs, Pattinson is clearly indulging in some of his own well-documented struggles with the paparazzi and his inability to walk down the street without getting recognized. “This city is a labyrinth designed to mock me,” is just one of many absurd, highfalutin phrases his mind barfs out. It’s all worth it, however, for the pair of relish-drenched hot dogs he gets from famed NYC eatery Papaya King.


“I knew I was just a normal human being,” he says after taking his first bite, a concept with which he’s no doubt struggled as his life has continually been consumed by the press and Donald Trump’s Twitter feed.

“You can call me Rob—I eat hot dogs!” he declares at video’s end, which sounds about as good a motto as any.