Image: Nintendo

Artists toil away at their creations, but at a certain point they must let them go out into the world, after which they cannot control how an audience receives and transforms their work. Case in point: The family-friendly video-game magnates at Nintendo, who increasingly must deal with the fact that the people who play their robustly designed flagship Mario games are extremely curious about their charactersā€™ genitalia.

Just last year, in the promotional run-up to the delightful Super Mario Odyssey, an image was released revealing the exact shape and location of Marioā€™s pert nipples. This raised a whole host of questions about the physiology of humanoids within the Mushroom Kingdom, some of which were answered by the unveiling of an official Mario comic from the late ā€˜80s, which confirmed with finality that, yep, Mario has a penis. Nintendo, probably sort of exhausted but mostly unfazed by all this shit, just continued steadily at their work.


Now, in the run-up to the new title Mario Tennis Aces, they have released some screens of the characters in their new athleisure get-ups, and the breathable mesh tennis shorts reveal conclusively that Luigi, too, has a dick. Did Nintendo intentionally design this? It appears so. Previous character models featured decidedly unforthcoming, smoothed-over groin regions, but not Aces Luigi, whose oblong bulge appears to suggest that in this age of graphical high fidelity, we must acknowledge the presence of the characterā€™s dick.

And while there are a lot of obsessive and semi-ironic jokes about this long-awaited reveal on Twitter, the real work is of course being done on Tumblr, where some advanced analysis has revealed the exact measurements of Luigiā€™s member.


The piece of character art which inspired all this analysis appears to have been removed from Nintendoā€™s press site, suggesting that they did not exactly expect this reception. The screenshot up top is still available, however, and still absolutely suggests a 3.7-inch (or so) penis. Could there be a coverup at work? Will they modify the model in light of this sensation? Find out what happened to Luigiā€™s dick when Mario Tennis Aces arrives June 22.

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