One of the great privileges celebrities enjoy is the ability to break taboos. Using their influence over popular culture, musicians and actors can change the way we think about the world, challenging deeply held but outmoded ideologies and beliefs to effect positive change.
Or, in the case of this guy who’s probably Justin Bieber, they can act as agents of chaos by simply annihilating fundamental norms we all take for granted—like, say, the proper way to eat a burrito.
While the San Francisco Chronicle refuses to endanger its journalistic credentials by certifying that the bleached-blonde, man-shaped food beast pictured above is in fact Bieber, merely reporting on the story has opened a can of worms so vast it threatens to destroy our collective sense of reality. The paper, blithely playing with cosmic forces, did not simply condemn the Bieber-man’s baffling, corncob-style burrito technique, but instead asked the question of whether it was, in fact, ever acceptable.
Twitter, as you may have suspected, has dissolved into a frothing pit following this provocation. Several tweets preserve some semblance of universal order by shooting down the very basis of the “debate.”
Many (too many) others try to reckon with the coming of a strange new world by seeking any possible justification. These attempts are particularly horrifying—like someone at death’s door bargaining with existence itself for a few more years of life.