But we don’t get to linger in Margaery’s perspective after this moment—which is a shame. She doesn’t react to her losses with badass vows of vengeance, or quotable oaths to get what is hers, “with fire and blood”—she gets smarter and sharper. When Littlefinger asks her if she wants to be “a queen,” she responds, simply, that she wants to be “the queen.” Her determination is evident in the way that she turns the monstrous Joffrey into a violin; the wood may be warped, and the strings made of barbed wire, but she plays the hell out of him anyway. Her princess-of-the-people routine makes her the darling of King’s Landing, insulating her (as much as possible, anyway) from Joffrey’s inevitable mad dog wrath and Cersei’s desperate attempts at hamstringing her. Margaery’s “yas qween” victory isn’t about learning to fight with a bow-staff or leading an army through Yunkai, it’s when she coyly asks Joffrey if she can hold his crossbow; there is power in taking his weapon into her hands.

Last year, many viewers were excited by the prospect of Sansa Stark becoming “dark Sansa,” an acolyte of Littlefinger who’d learn to weaponize her femininity, to use craft and cunning and finally take charge of her life. Interestingly, in all the righteous (and rightful) uproar about the writers’ choice to send Sansa backsliding into victimhood, fans forgot that the show already has a character who fulfills that archetype—the noblewoman who uses the confines of being a courtly lady to advance her own agenda—in Margaery. But she is no “dark Margaery,” and she certainly isn’t Cersei, content to step on other people’s backs as she ascends to the throne.

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If anything, she is one of the kindest nobles in Westeros: Her concern for the small-folk is too convincing to be entirely an act (could we seriously see Cersei, or even season one Sansa, getting out of her carriage to talk to the common people?), and she shows Brienne Of Tarth respect—even when the other woman’s size and vocation make her the subject of much behind-the-back snickering. Though it would be all too easy, perhaps advantageous, for her to join Joffrey in his incessant torment of Sansa Stark, Margaery actively befriends Sansa, and her kindly attentions fall on the poor girl like a long rain quenching the hard earth. Sure, an alliance with the North bolsters House Tyrell, but Margaery’s choices prove that power doesn’t have to be won in unsheathing a sword or plunging a knife into a back—sometimes, it is earned through the soft arts of compassion.

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It’s sad, then, that even in this new renaissance for the “dames of Thrones,” Margaery has remained alone in her tower. The show may be, finally, refraining from treating battered female bodies as a narrative wallpaper, used to “pull together” character motivations and elements of the plot. It may be more genuinely invested in the ambitions of its female characters on the whole (Yara Greyjoy’s failed kingsmoot campaign against a wilier, more charismatic—if wholly unqualified—candidate is ripe for a comparison to the current election season). But too many of the moments ballyhooed as evidence of Game Of Thrones’ feminist bent feel like party balloons with “GIRL POWER” written on them, left to slowly flatten and deflate in a corner of the room. Nuance and context are sidelined for more superficial wins.

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The Mother Of Dragons marches back to Meereen with a Dothraki horde, but she has yet to prove herself as a competent ruler. Cersei gets a badass line about “choosing violence” in the trailer; however, her own lack of foresight and hysterical jealously re-activated and empowered the Faith Militant. The sight of Sansa parlaying in the war room may not be worth all that she suffered last season. Margaery’s successes will never be fodder for the meme machine, yet they are no less palpable or significant—if anything, they are more rooted in the realities of the women watching at home. Her victories belong to the woman who knows how to glad-hand, even though she’s done the damn work to earn the promotion; or the woman who knows that, sometimes, smiling and saying the right thing is the only way to stay alive. She shouldn’t have to burn the house down just to be noticed.