Last week I wrote that Modern Family's sense of sky's-the-limit potential arises "not because it's starting from somewhere and going somewhere else — but because it's got so much territory to explore right where it's plopped itself down." And this week it's like they've set out to prove me right. The sliver of territory being mapped this week is a particularly interesting one both in terms of colorful scenery and strategic importance. Our feelings about those in our family, or on its edges poised to invade or withdraw, are driven by irrational emotion. We cannot just talk ourselves into feeling differently. At key moments, however, the right word or action can demonstrate that a different feeling is warranted, and despite our preconceptions we are moved by something below the level of cognition. Change can occur. A new meme can get stuck in our heads, despite our defenses.
Two major emotional roadblocks are presented to us in "The Incident." The one after which the episode is named is Gloria's sworn enmity to Jay's first wife, Mitchell and Claire's mother DeDe (played with perfect brio by Shelly Long). See, she got a little drunk at Jay and Gloria's wedding, gave a bitter toast ("Thirty-five years we were together, and he couldn't wait ten minutes to run off with Charo") and had to be forcibly removed by a team of groomsmen while screaming "I'm Gloria, ay yi yi yi!" and kicking over the cake. But she's been centering herself spiritually since then at an ashram in Sedona, and she's moving to a foreign land ("French Canada") with Chas, her new boyfriend. Before she and Chas can really be together, though, she has to apologize to Gloria and remove the blockage to her sexuality. ("Don't get me wrong, we satisfy each other down there," she assures Mitchell; and "We do things to each other — we use our hands," she later confides to Claire and Phil.)
So DeDe approaches Mitchell to smooth the way for her to mend fences with the whole extended family at dinner. As it turns out, Mitchell has a history of being used by his mother for these kinds of errands, which makes it impossible from the start for him to be seen as anything other than Mama's errand boy. Jay categorically refuses to broach the subject with Gloria, and promises to express horror and revulsion if DeDe shows up for the dinner. (A promise kept: "… Which is why this is a terrible idea by you," he emphasizes when they enter the Dunphy living home and find Mitchell hiding behind DeDe's caftan.)
The second irrational animus pits Claire against Haley in the competition to define Dylan, Haley's boyfriend. Will Haley get to go overnight with Dylan to a concert, competently supervised by Uncle Toby? (Whose uncle? "Spencer … the one with the arm.") Or will Claire refuse to give Dylan a chance, just like her mom refused to give her boyfriends a chance in her day? Phil, predictably, tries to bridge the gap between mother and daughter, practicing his "peeranting" ("act like a parent, talk like a peer") by requesting that Haley talk to him as a friend: "I'm Marcus from biology! Hey, how are things going with Dylan? Has he tried anything inappropriate with you … girl?"