Top pick
Heartbeat (NBC, 8 p.m.): Yes, NBC’s Heartbeat technically premiered last night and was the top pick for said night. But this is the official premiere and regular night for the show, and we’re taking it back, Alasdair “#HEEL” Wilkins. Plus, this is the What’s On Tonight that mentions “Doctor Face-Hands,” so we think we all know which one is the true Heartbeat-based What’s On Tonight. Two nights of Heartbeat as top pick won’t hurt anyone.
Of course, we mostly wanted to use this as an outlet to discuss the facts that:
- Alias season three wasn’t Melissa George’s fault at all—blame a certain network that didn’t want Alias to be Alias, okay?!?
- The original Australian version of The Slap is still something your friendly neighborhood What’s On Tonight contributor will defend to her death. Even with the lack of Penn Badgley.
- Hunted should have gotten more than one season.
- Heart-Hands make a lot more sense than Face-Hands.
So, yeah… Heartbeat is on again tonight, guys! You read Gwen Ihnat’s pre-air review, right? We did our job then.
Also noted
The Middle/The Goldbergs (ABC, 8/8:30 p.m.): First up on The Middle, “THE DONAHUES JOIN THE HECKS ON A SPRING BREAK VACATION, WHICH DOESN’T GO AS SMOOTHLY AS PLANNED.” So this is the week where The Middle does its own spin on Spring Breakers. Finally. Then, over in the ‘80s: “Inspired by David Copperfield’s walk through The Great Wall of China, Adam becomes a magician in order to impress a girl at school.” Oh, Adam. Let’s look at that again: “…David Copperfield…Adam becomes…magician…to impress…girl.” Oh, Adam. Have fun with these two, Will Harris.
Arrow (The CW, 8 p.m.): Cupid is back in town, baybay! And Alasdair “#CONSPIRACYVICTIM” Wilkins should be happy we even mentioned that. Heartbeat is our turf, Wilkins!
Modern Family (ABC, 9 p.m.): “CAM’S SISTER PAM IS HAVING BOY PROBLEMS.” Did someone say “boy problems,” Kyle Fowle?!?
Black-ish (ABC, 9:30 p.m.): This week’s episode of Black-ish is all about sisterly bonding: “Diane decides to run for class president, so when the smart and bubbly Susie Kwest becomes her competition, Zoey helps Diane create a smear campaign to win Diane the vote.” Ah, that brings LaToya Ferguson back to the good old days—you know, creating smear campaigns against children. No, her little sister never ran for class president. Why do you ask?
The Americans (FX, 10 p.m.): We forget—this is another season of that Fargo show, right?