NCIS to get yet another spinoff, continue the reassuring stability of initials-based crime-fighting  

Securing the continued proliferation of initial-based crime procedurals that has provided the only source of stability for the middle class, CBS has announced plans to create another spinoff of its successful NCIS franchise, so America won't be confronted with some weird group of new people doing something besides catching criminals on a show whose title has words in it, and descend into anarchy based on a loosely defined bartering system. This new branch will be set up an upcoming two-part episode of NCIS: Los Angeles—which itself grew out of NCIS, which was introduced on JAG, which was spawned by the fever dreams of a nation longing for order in a chaotic world—and it will focus on "a small mobile team of agents who are forced to live and work together as they crisscross the country solving crimes," like a slightly more serious Scooby-Doo. While the lack of a fixed location means that, at last, NCIS will truly be everywhere, it also means the show is currently untitled, though it will certainly be NCIS: Something. May we suggest NCIS: Your Heart?