It is a question every Disney fan must face eventually: Which of the studio’s many memorable villains would be the best, most satisfying lover? This is precisely the issue facing the pop culture mavens at Pajiba, who previously debated the sex lives of Harry Potter characters. Now, panelists Rebecca Pahle, Kristy Puchko, and Agent X have reconvened to speculate upon the bedroom prowess of Captain Hook, Maleficent, Gaston, and many others in a piece entitled “A Serious Discussion Of Which Disney Villain Is Best In Bed.” The conversation hits a snag early on, however, when the earnest commentators realize that some of Disney’s most memorable baddies are not exactly human, a fact that might take the conversation to an uncomfortable place. Take Scar from The Lion King, for example. “He’s a very swishy lion,” says Pahle, to which Agent X replies, “I just thought he was British.” And then there is The Little Mermaid’s Ursula, who seems to be an octopus from the waist down. “I don’t understand how octopuses do it,” admits Puchko. Ursula’s human form, on the other hand, is declared to be “cute, if obviously evil looking.” Agent X points out that human Ursula would still be awkwardly trying to learn the basic mechanics of sexual reproduction, as in, “Wait. Shit. Hold on, gimme a sec to figure out how this thing works.”